Called the docs to make an appointment finally and they really scared me more! haha! They told me to come right in, and if I've spoke to my cardiologist about it. They were urging me to go to the ER, and I told 'em I couldn't rly afford it. They got me in literally a half hour after the call! Fastest I've ever gotten a visit! Anyway, when I went there - I was met with a Nurse Practitioner! He was very, very kind and talkative - I didn't feel nervous around him like I do with other docs, we made me feel like I was talkin' to a pal. I prefer him much over my regular doctor. (Who rarely takes me seriously / actually listens to me. This guy did all that!)

So he seemed very confident that my problem is my lungs are "reacting" to something in my house. He said it could be dust, mold, or all the pets that are in this house. I'm gonna assume the pets given I started having this issue around when my mother brought home two more cats. And we have 7 cats in the house, one dog, one rabbit, and four birds... so you know, my lungs probably finally screamed "WE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!" He thinks my head feeling weird is likely from the reaction, too. As he said he felt a lot of fluids behind my ears. Which that may make sense, as it feels the source of the fog as well as the dizziness is coming from behind my head. So, I hope it's that and that I didn't give myself a concussion after all! I'm getting meds for it, so hopefully I'll be back to normal within a week or whatever it takes!

Now... these probs probably weren't alcohol related after all. But does that mean I'm going back to alcohol after I'm better? Nah. I'm gonna stay away from it because it always brought me anxiety, anyway. Whenever something bad happens to me, I'd be scared the alcohol caused it. Plus alcohol is bad for my health anyway. Sooner or later, I'd have to to quit it 'cos even if it DIDN'T cause me issues so far, it will STILL cause me problems eventually. In 2 days, it would have been 4 weeks since I last drank. :)

Anyway, really hoping I get to feeling better and normal!

I'm really afraid I gave myself a concussion or brain damage. I don't know how I could've "rocked" so hard to do that, but I guess after years of rocking, it may just happen over time. For the past four days, I can't rock without feeling ill, sometimes when I stand up - I feel nauseous. I feel like I have to sleep a lot 'cos I just end up feeling sick. Sometimes, my head starts hurting. However, I've also been dealing with symptoms of sinus infection, Such as a weird sharp pain that shoots through my face sometimes when I sniffle. And a feeling of a "toothache." Annnd I did notice all this nausea started while I was sick. However, I did notice weird things with my eyesight before getting sick, such as seeing a "trail" behind moving things sometimes, and I swear I see flashes of light or shadows - but that may just be my paranoia getting to me...

I didn't see Nausea as a common symptom with sinus infection... who knows, maybe I have both brain damage and sinus infection. Regardless, I'm becoming very anxious and I'm soooo tired of worrying. So so tired of worrying. Even though neither of this likely has anything to do with alcohol. I'm just kinda upset with myself for drinking beer for as long. Whilst I'm not as bad as some drinkers, as I mostly did it weekly to twice a week. But dang... I just felt like I wouldn't be as anxious if I hadn't drank so much. And while I haven't drank in over 3 weeks, I don't feel good.

I just wish I'd feel better. I wish I could go to the doctor, but I'll have to wait until Monday before I can even make an appointment. I get they don't have as many employees, but wild that I can go to McDonald's any day I want, but I can't go to the doctor's when I very much need it. (Unless I wanna go even more in debt with the ER)

Okey, so I am VERY sick as I've mentioned in my statues. Not super flu sick at least! But still quite sick. I keep meaning to go to bed to sleep it off, but I feel the Dayquil I'm taking is keeping me awake 'cos I feel terrible, but not sleepy at all. I know, I should be taking Nyquil instead! But Dayquil's the only good medicine we have. I do think it works well, but sucks 'cos it keeps me up! It's a double edged sword!

Anyway, I have even MORE concerns now. I was having issues with a floater in my right eye (I think I mentioned that in a previous blog post?) My mother insisted it was from my rocking/"stimming" (I'll elaborate soon) But I wasn't convinced. I asked the eye doc, and he said very unlikely. He said the way I rock shouldn't be hurting my brain that much. But now... I am starting to become convinced my mother was right, as much as I hate to admit that. 'cos now I'm noticing I'm often seeing a trail behind moving objects (or things like my hands). Which is highly concerning. I'm gonna try to stop rocking back and forth, but I'm super scared I might've gave myself bad brain damage (I really hope it's not that bad.)

The thing is, I've been rocking for my whole entire life. So it's gonna be hard giving it up, along with giving up alcohol. Which, giving up alcohol is easier 'cos all I gotta do is just not buy any. But rocking is like an instinct to me, it's a natural response to emotion. When I get excited, I start rocking hard - and I do this without thinking, too. I also rock while listening to music. And even as I'm writing this, I'm swaying back and forth (albeit gently.) So I just dunno how I'm gonna stop this. But it really sucks. I know it's for the better, but I feel I have to give up two things that once brought me joy at the same time. It's hard. Which, I remember, this Wednesday, I'll be 3 weeks sober. Which is the longest I've been sober in a probs a year now? Close to a year maybe. Tbh, I'm still not thinking about drinking as much as I thought I would. I guess 'cos I've just been so concerned with other things, I don't even wanna touch a beer. Don't wanna add more to the concerns.

I just hope really good things come my way to make up for it all.

OKAY. Now it's been 2 weeks since I've last drank beer! :D Tbh, I'm not missing it as much as I thought I would, which is funny 'cos sometimes I'd have trouble going a week without Mikey. But I guess I've been more concerned about my health lately, that I just don't even wanna drink about it! Anyway, I think my breathing has gotten better? I'm starting to suspect it was either heartburn or anemia. Since last I went to the doctor, I was slightly anemic / lacking iron... and that was like half a year ago or so? So my iron levels probs got too low. I think 'cos my complexion is liek super pale (paler than even my mother's who's a ginger!) And my feet and hands were feeling weird and cold, and my eyes DO kinda look blue. So, I've been taking iron for about five days now? And I think it's been helping me.

I think the best part about not drinking beer is that I don't have heart palpitations when I snooze. I think they were heart palpitations. Whenever I'd go to sleep, I could feel my heart beating somewhat hard lol. I never thought it was anything 'cos over the last few years, I've been to the docs several time over concerns regarding my heart, and they always acted like nothin' was wrong. But regardless, it's still nice to sleep without feeling it strong.

Sadly! My brother got sick and that means I'm likely gonna get sick which will suck. :/ Around this time last year, I got Covid! Luckily, he doesn't seem that sick... so it's probs just a cold. Which is still gonna suck, but at least it won't be the worst I've endured.

Hellu! Unlike my last post, I am ✨✨sober!✨✨ I've been sober for 9 days now, and honestly I plan on staying sober for the rest of my life if I can help it lol! Mostly because I'm tired of constantly being worried about my health. Lately, I've been having a harder time breathing. I've been checking my oxygen and pulse, both my heart and oxygen are at normal (and even excellent rates). And it's not like I'm wheezing whenever I exercise, yet every some seconds, I feel like I'm not getting enough air and I have to breathe in deeper. It's been this way for about a week now? I haven't gone to the hospital for a couple reasons. One, I've had a very similar issue last year (or was it the year before? ????) and the doc didn't really do any tests or even listened to my lungs if I recalled correctly, I think he just listened to my complaints, said I probably had sleep apnea, and gave me an inhaler. Which I never used 'cos I wasn't sure if that's ACTUALLY my issue, and I was scared to use it. Eventually, my issue just cleared up and I started breathing normally again. I keep hoping that'll be the case now. Two, I don't think it's anything that needs emergency care, just because I've had this issue before as noted, and I haven't REALLY noticed any other symptoms of something serious (heart or lung issue). So I don't think I'm suffering from that. Considering I've been having bad heartburn, and I've been belching a lot (even now) I am thinking it's most likely from GERD. Which, I hope will also resolve or at least get better with my discontinuation of alcohol consumption. Which, I believe is the main issue for my GERD, as it's common amongst alcohol use. Three, I live with my mother and she got like 2 more cats, and so we have like 6 cats where I am rn. So, it could very well be that the excessive amount of cats are tarnishing the air quality and I'm suffering 'cos of that. My mother has plans on rehoming some she's impulsively bought. Because well... that many cats are just hard on us in general, and not just on our lungs either. I will go to the doctor's if my breathing worsens, or I notice new concerning symptoms. It was kinda bad this morning, but I took some heartburn pills (probs been taking more than I should!) and I did a few exercises, and I think I'm feeling better now.

I haven't been on much lately due to stress of things (quitting drinking altogether, my health, and other irl personal shiiiiz) But I AM gonna try to be on more often soon! For now, I'mma go back to sleep 'cos my breathing and panicking woke me up after only 5 hours of sleep, and now that I've calmed down after a bit, the sleepiness is hitting me again! Ciao and have a good day awesome Neofreakers! ????✌️

I reeeeeeally wanna stop drinking... and I'm writing this while I'm drunk rn!!! But like I started drinking 'cos I went through some shit that really traumatized me. The 2020 tornado messed me up... which I knoooow it may sound silly. But a tornado (especially an E3, edging on E4 one) can be quite traumatic... all the trees were down, I lost my sheds, my neighbor's house was completely gone, much of our stuff in our house was destroyed, we were lucky our house didn't blow down... if it did, I would be dead right now 'cos I didn't have a shelter back then, nor did I have a basement, I was hiding in our closet. I remember holding on to my sister screaming bloody murder cos I thought I was actually gonna die. I remember closing my eyes, and holding her as tightly as I can, preparing for death because I thought those were my final moments (The TV were flashing tornado wanring, the noise was so loud, my ears were hurting, it took an entire year to build our house back to ALMOST its original state) I remember after the tornado happened, I was so out of it. I would have days where I didn't feel like I was actually there, that nothing was real. First I used weed to escape, but then bad stuff happened with weed, and I used alcohol to escape.

But... I think I'm finally returning to normalcy. I know I'll be frightened next spring... but this year I'm not nearly as afraid. In fact, two months ago we had ANOTHER Tornado warning, and I wasn't scared at all, I sit normally. Meanwhile, when the tornado first happened, I would cry and fear every single thunderstorm. Now I can go through a lot of thunderstorms not as scared.

I think that's the reason I haven't been on here long, cos I felt I built my reputation as the silly alcoholic girl, and I felt being here would only make me wanna drink more. But... I wanna learn I can be here, and do other things without drinking. I really wanna quit drinking altogether cos I fear it's not good for my health. I fear it's doing bad things to my health. Even though I love alcohol and it's starting to feel like a normalcy to me... I've lived 20+ years without it, surely I can go back to that.

Some people ask if God does'nt eixst why doesn't he speak to us anymore? What if God is constantly speaking to you but just not through words? Humans are the only species who speak with our own unique "languages"? And even the majority of us can't understand each other. Why would God speak the exact same way? Animals also have their own unique way of communication? I feel like God is constantly speaking to me... just not using My Words. I feel Him watching me, and commenting on the various things I do. Sometimes... even judging me. And I'm not even a Christian. Though I have interest in it... I do not consider myself such 'cos I never read the bible or gone to church. But I do strongly believe in some kind of God 'cos I always feels His presence!

Not REALLY "new" at this point. Adam was replaced several years ago. But I recalled not liking "Human" or whatever when it was first released. Think that was around 2015? And liiiike... whilst 3DG songs are def STILL weaker now. I think it is indeed the vocalist's fault. And not just because I'm nostalgic for Adam... because I've tried listening to his new band's songs and didn't like them as much as classic 3DG. But because I just don't think I like how the vocalist sounds. Which is funny given I like a FEW of his older bands works (Our Darkest Days I think?) But I was listening to Three Days Grace's new song called "Neurotic" and I wasn't vibing with it... then when the second verse comes around with the feature singer, I started liking it a lot. I think because the feature artist was just a way better singer. And it made me realize that I'd probably enjoy post Adam Gontier Three Days Grace if they just had a vocalist I liked more.

I wanna give you guys a bit of an update because I kind of had a bad moment last week.

Friday the 6th I was doing my work as normal when I got such bad pain in my hip that shot down to my knee area. I knew I had a bad disc in my back which I had been working with doctors to take care of, but this was so bad that I couldn't sit, stand, or lie down without pain. I barely made it through the rest of work. I took the weekend for rest, but Sunday night it was still the same. Kept on through the rest of the week. I hate taking sick days so I felt really bad. Taxing on my mentality. I also was supposed to be doing stuff here which I guess I could have done, but I was going crazy. I distracted myself with fishing (in a video game).

I'm still not better. I am on medication that is supposed to help me strengthen my back, but it isn't doing much for my walk. I can sit okay now though. I cannot feel the toes on my right foot. My hip hurts real bad all the time. Pain either radiates from my knee, calf, or back of thigh. I really have no idea what more I can do. I take pain killers and they do nothing. I have muscle relaxers but all they do is help me sleep. Only so much sleeping a guy can do.

I wanna get a MRI but because I am at the mercy of the insurance company, I have to do 8 weeks of PT which I'm on maybe like week 4 now? Getting closer, but not soon enough.

Anyway, thanks for sticking by me. I feel like a big baby complaining. I wish I could just "do it" and ignore the pain, but it's tough.

sword_of_omens ChaosTheory Infinite Mr Musefan and everyone else who had good words.

This only counts for Girlfriends that have put out.

1- Nicole Braden/Bibel (Ex-Wife) (7 Years) 17-24 Years Old
2- Emily Robinson (3 weeks) 36 Years Old
3- Mariah Carone' (9 Months) 18-19 Years Old
4- Sarah Shea (1 week) 57 Years Old
5- Andrea (1 Week) 26 Years Old
6[img][/img]- Maria Hervey (1 Year, 3 Months) 48-51 Years Old

~Psyche~
1- Traumatic Brain Injury
2- Paranoid Personality Type
3- Bi Polar: Depressive Type
4- General Anxiety

~Physical~
1- Carpal Ligaments
2- Sprained/Broken Ankles
3- Heart Attack/Stroke
4- Ruptured Discs
5- Broken Back

1 - Yard Labor/Landscaper (Childhood)
2 - Read-It-Again Bookstore (2007) Wenatchee, WA
3 - DJ's Diner and Drive Thru (2008) Eureka, NV
4 - Eureka Chevron (2008) Eureka, NV
5 - Baby Sitter (2008/2009) Eureka, NV
6 - Labor Union (2010) Hermiston, OR
7 - Runner (2011) Hermiston, OR
8 - Boardman Foods (2012) Umatilla, OR
9 - Rick's Car Wash (2012) Hermiston, OR
10-Warehouse Packager (2013) Pendleton, OR
11-Subway (2013/2015/2019) Hermiston, Ely, Tonopah
12-McDonald's (2013-2015) Ely, NV
13-Anderson's Food Town (2015) Ely, NV
14-Bristlecone Motel (2015) Ely, NV
15-Motel 6 (2017) Ely, NV
16-Job Connect (2017) Ely, NV
17- Jailhouse Steakhouse (2018) Ely, NV
18-La Quinta (2018) Ely, NV
19-(2018) Ely, NV
20-Blogger/Investigative Journalist (2018-2023)
21-Sugar Boy (2020-2023)

As it stands currently, I started back in 2002 with content creation.  I started with writing guides back in 2002, as I never thought I'd ever branch out into doing any video versions at some point later in my career.  When it comes to doing the video version of a guide or walkthrough, I never knew how much it could take to do them. Whether I did a live stream by recording multiple videos, then merging them into one, or doing them individually (depending on the game). By doing those, it gives me an idea of how hard that can be, but knowing that the written aspect is where my heart is really gives me creative control, as I feel I can cover more compared to doing videos.

From my early days doing plan text that can be found on here and other sites, at least to those that are familiar with my work from over the years.  Granted, over the years I've liked how writing guides have gotten to the point where I can include screenshots or images in them on here or on the other site to which I've contributed them.  I'll say that it took me a while on the other site to get the hang of it, as I wrote them up in what's known as "mark-up" in Notepad, then uploaded them into an online editor on the site.  While on here, I still write in Notepad, but then I'd copy and paste into the walkthrough portion of the guide. The online editor on the other site that I've contributed to isn't bad, but it can be a pain if you write a guide for a game that has a bounty up for it.

By that, when writing up, upload it into the editor, insert any screenshots, submit, and then wait for it to be posted.  Probably with getting older like I am, it can feel a bit tedious trying to upload each update into the editor, then have to reinsert the screenshots or images, then upload any screenshots and insert them.  One perk of writing here is that I'm glad I don't have to worry about having to upload into an editor and then do all that work again with screenshots.  So, I'd say the only way I don't mind the online editor over there is when there's not a bounty up for a game and it's a guide I can do in one shot without having to do updates every so often.

Iconic Bocchi glitchy banshee wail recreated by the VA when discussing the original sound's creation.

SELL EU~7 ld nat5=Nigong/Valantis/Hollyberry Cookie light/Grogen/Jaara/Woonsa/Manannan Ld4*=2xKinki/2x Molly/1x Mirinae/1x Deborah/1x Martina/1x Dova Best Swift ~ 223+2/Best Vio ~191/Despair~188+1 Many more sets/i hate doing RTA/1200$+MM/Negotiable
https://imgur.com/a/8QR6PKj SummonerWars