Jesivis blogged
9 hours ago

This question has been on my mind a lot lately. I often reflect on my life and just wonder, "What's the point?" Why am I doing this, where is this getting me? Why are we alive what's the reason for existence? So many questions but so little answers. The most pivotal aspect of life is love. We all want to love and be loved. What is life without it? How would we exist without it. We wouldn't. Love is the apex of life. We wouldn't be in this world without it.

I feel like I'm so behind. I'm not where I am suppose to be. But I've had many struggles. I'm trying my hardest to get where I need to be, but I still can't help but feel discouraged because I am not where I want to be. Life is beautiful with many wonders and many things to enjoy. I just don't seem to be enjoying where my life is now. I don't know how to change it. We become so used to our ordinary ways. When something becomes a habit it's terribly difficult to get out of it.

I still have hope. That's the only thing I can cling to. I have so many dreams, so many goals for myself that I pray I can accomplish one day. But all I have to live for is today because I'm not promised tomorrow. So many amazing souls have been taken without a second chance. I'm still alive so I know there is still a chance to change. But can I?

Can I get to where I've always dreamed of being?

Only time will tell.

Read more
sharkdragon blogged
Apr 25, 16 9:55am

Friendship is something we all enjoy. We all enjoy talking with friends, going places with friends, and just hanging out with friends. But lately I believe that technology has taken over a lot of that. Texting seems to be so much more convinient, people look to social media to see what's hip and to talk to friends. Less and less I'm seeing of people just going over to a friends house.
Paradox blogged
Apr 22, 16 3:42pm

dude high schoolers are legit savages to each other, specifically 17-18 year olds. i forgot how.. idk mean people in that age bracket can be, just how they talk. their style of humor, what they consider as banter back between friends. was i like that when i was younger?
Infinite blogged
Apr 22, 16 1:44am

Wow. Two deaths of people, I grew up watching and listening to. Both of them too young to suddenly pass away. One at 57, the other was just 45.. Today has been a very sad day. Rest in peace Chyna. Rest in peace Prince. We'll miss you. Thanks for those special moments and for entertaining us through the years!
Mrgrimmz blogged
Apr 18, 16 5:18am

So whaddya guys & chicks think of the HxH dub? Good or eh? I always will love the original dub but the eng dub isnt all that bad.It's pretty decent to me. Plus the manga is finally continuing after forever thank god xD
ShadeTheBalam blogged
Apr 16, 16 8:55am

Hey guys, I will be on VERY VERY RARELY, I just remembered this place LOL. Anyways, I won't be on pretty much at all, so catch me if you can! My Twitter is ShadeTheBalam follow me!
pachiri-soo blogged
Apr 16, 16 5:35am

Sooo, I haven't drawn anything for awhile due to the pressure I have in college and the standards that I'm forced to follow in order to get a good grade. Sometimes I think that maybe this is not for me. Did I really make a good choice to pursue this as my career? I'm not even sure what I want. Do I want to be an illustrator? an animator? a production artist? a concept artist? a photographer? I don't know.

A lot of people think being an artist is just draw, create, produce and that's it.
Not a lot of them think about the scene behind it. Do you ever wonder why movies take years to produce (Inside Out took 6 years to finish)? How expensive someone's commission fee? How little sleep a manga artist have? Being an artist is filled with work load, and not a lot of people are appreciative of the effort that these people give. It takes YEARS of experience to be able to call yourself a professional. Because there is no such thing as being "good enough" in the art world. You must keep improving, get yourself out there, connect with others or just stay in your comfort zone.

Being an artist is not about just drawing. You also must learn how to communicate, to observe, to be patient and etc. You must also know how everything functions, because what's the purpose of a character if you don't know how they would move or function, your character would end up stiff. I really look up to concept artists, they are able to produce original designs/ideas that they know that it is reasonable. It's not easy to come up with something original. Plus, getting your art known out there is hard work. Your works get over shadowed by artists who are well known or basically better than you. Though it's not about how good you are, it's about your strategy. It's up to you on how to get yourself noticed. Yeah, it's kind of depressing really

In where I live, majority underestimate AB students (Bachelor of Arts), that what we are trying to pursue is easier than of an engineer, a scientist, or a teacher. Well, comparing something subjective to objective is just irrelevant because it's two different things. It's like comparing Einstein to Leonardo Da Vinci. Subjective and Objective can not live without each other. It would be nice if we weren't compared to what society thinks are much helpful for the community. Without artists, you are not able to have music, movies, books, video games or basically media itself.
And that mentality of "artist's are poor". Well yeah, we spend money for years of study/training. Do you know how expensive art materials are? programs? and there are people who complain why we sell our works in such a high price. That they want their "commissions" free.
WOW, this is ridiculous.

^see this. DON'T DO THIS

Art/Design is not just about putting random colors, random fonts, random images. It's more than that, there are so MANY rules to follow. Like Billboard Ads, you must have an easy to read fonts, that people can understand it in a glimpse. Ahh all of these are so complicated that I want to bang my head on a wall.

Now, I'm able to join a creative workshop to get myself back in the art scene and to learn how to act professionally. I want to talk about this more but I'm lazy and I have to fix my research manuscript haha hue maybe next timee

Read more
haalyle blogged
Apr 12, 16 10:19pm

Yes... it's been done. I've withdrawn from the Game Design course as it wasn't really my thing anymore. I was beginning to lose interest over the later weeks, and soon all my motivation was gone.

Instead, I've used advice from my French Teacher and am looking into University to do French and Performing Arts... as I've found out that Acting seems pretty awesome. I've acted a few times in my life and I'm definitely open to more opportunities!
haalyle blogged
Apr 12, 16 3:19am

Lately, I'm been feeling kind of off. No, I'm not sick, I'm just having mixed feelings about this course. There are definitely some good aspects about it, but I've been gradually losing interest in it for the past few weeks now.

I love gaming, no doubt about it, but I have a feeling that the whole creative process, concept art and modelling just isn't my style. Programming is 'eh'. (I'm resitting the exam. Did terrible.) A part of me really, really wants to go back to something I really, really enjoyed doing throughout High School which was... learning French.

I have this huge interest in languages! I love learning about them! I love the different translations you get! Even better, I learn English as well. And I just really want to continue learning it.

But another thing that I really enjoyed, especially during my Primary School years was acting. I remember I was in a play once, as the narrator. I enjoyed that. Sure, the choir is hardly anything a part from the fact that I can perform in front of an audience alright and remember quite a few things, but I really like the idea of acting.

Ugh, I don't know. I'm hardly anywhere in this life as it is. I'll continue this course anyway, just to see how it goes.
C Falcon blogged
Apr 11, 16 9:26am

In the last Neoblog, I was talking about my old group of friends. The comments you guys left me got me thinking about it more and I think I have come to a better resolution.

I guess I have to get slightly personal for this, but don't worry it will be relevant.

I'm a really bad friend.

It's true. All my friendships I've had in real life either end up with me not keeping in contact with my other friends, or just me in general treating my friends poorly. I'm saying that because it translates to my online life as well.

My old group of old friends on Neoseeker fell through obviously. I wouldn't have spend these two posts talking about it if it was still around. I feel like I'm partly responsible for it because of group drama or whatever you want to call it. I won't get into it or anything because it is extremely petty and I probably don't remember all the details, or rather fabricate them with my own bias.

What am I trying to say? I'm saying the reason I don't keep friends is not only because I'm a bad friend, but groups never stay around forever. People grow and environments change. Most of my old friends left the site forever. Some are still around, but they obviously don't play the old games anymore. Maybe they do, but there's no reason to talk about them because there's new stuff. They have new interests. Me too.

What I will say is that yeah, I'm a really bad friend, but I can be a friend. If you stop talking to me, that's fine. I've learned to accept it over the years. Will I miss our old times/good times? For sure. It still doesn't stop me from wondering how said person is. I have good intentions most of the time, despite me executing it terribly.

Besides, I have a new group of friends. The unity of the old group is gone, but on my good days I've come to accept it. My new bout of activity wouldn't have lasted this long without the likes of Chimaira or uraniumoreo and new friends Kokoro and Jesivis. It just wouldn't.

So, uh, is my conclusion that I should be happy that I even have friends? In a way. I'm happy to have new friends, but just because I don't have my old group anymore doesn't mean that those times didn't happen. They were fine times. I can blame myself for them ending, but it isn't totally my fault, is it?

Read more
Jesivis blogged
Apr 10, 16 11:15pm

Something is going on. Something deep and under the surface. Something with in. I just don't feel right. Whenever I start getting these massive waves of dejavu it usually means there is a big change coming on the horizon. The worst thing about the dejavu that I get is not that I just get one case but several all in the same day and it leaves me stunned. I seriously feel almost like the universe is trying to get my attention. Trying to warn me of what's to come and what's on it's way.

I never realize the truth until it's too late and already here.

My gut feels bottomless, my skin crawls, my heart stops, and my thoughts freeze. I try to remember why this all seems so familiar and right before I get a glimpse of where it's from I'm back to thinking everything is normal.

But I know it's not.

It's been a few weeks since I really had this much dejavu but tonight it came back with a vengeance. My dejavu had returned, or had it ever really left?

So I'm at work just standing behind the counter ringing up customers when something makes me stop.

The customer wanted this brand of cigarettes that I rarely ever sell, as well as a bottle of water, and a white lighter. At the moment I was ringing him up, I looked at him and then I looked at the counter and just stared at what he was getting. It dawned on me, this has happened before. I've never seen this customer yet somehow I felt like I had. I was also ringing him up for everything I had rang him up in the past. But there was no past because this had never actually happened. It wasn't like I had dreamed about this and then I was seeing it play out in real life, it was something unfathomable. There was a line of customers behind him and they all seemed familiar as well. It was the same string of customers that were behind him from before.

I let it go and the feeling of dejavu finally passed.

A few hours later I was out on the floor stocking cups. I noticed that our coffees were low so I went over to make some more. I'm always aware of my surroundings, you have to be when you work in customer service. Well I noticed these people walk over to get a fountain drink. It was a guy and a girl, maybe his girlfriend? The feeling came back and it was dejavu all over again. I could have sworn I had seen these two people before, but it was when I was making coffee too, but before, even though it had also never happened. I started to feel really weird almost like I could pass out. Then the feeling finally went away.

Was it over? Nope.

Eventually worked was over and it was time to clock out. I got in my car and drove home.

When I got home I got a call from my sister but something really strange happened. Before I could answer her call my phone jumped from 33% to 1% and then died. I plugged it in. When my phone turned back on I called my sister. As we were talking I received a message from a stranger on my Kik. I opened up the message and started talking to this person I didn't know. It all came back, once more. As I'm talking to my sister it all hit me like a ton of bricks, the dejavu. I had already done this, been on the phone with my sister while someone I didn't know was messaging me, even though my dejavu wants me to believe I'd already met them and this had all happened before.

But it hadn't so how is this possible...

Read more
hujanesword blogged
Apr 05, 16 10:01pm

Hi What's up Bro?
I am Looking for a good offer you can click on the link here
You Can check also chat my fanta id too 52918629 *pretty much talkative :D
I am Open Minded , Nobody like a Stranger
Btw you wanna contact me for the te/pots Or Other things you all can
kik me : hujanesword
Message me here
join my chatroom in with channel hastags FantasicaIndonesia
quote Don't chat me on work time :( *Hongkong Time
Feel Free to see my post

Fantasica card game forum for referral codes, in-game trades, help, guilds, real-money buying and selling with PayPal/USD and more!

C Falcon blogged
Apr 04, 16 9:51am

I see others have been blogging. That's good, right?

Anyway, I've been mulling this over for a little while now. I believe I don't really belong anywhere on this site anymore.

The thing is, I used to have a cool group. I know I've been trying to stay away from the past, but that's just it. That was my main drive to come to the site every day. I was happy to see my old crew. They are gone now and they will never be back.

Today, I return to the site with the hope that I'll have a group like that again. I suppose I shouldn't be thinking that way because the site is less active than it used to be and it is also highly unlikely I'll find a group exactly like my old group.

I guess what I'm saying is that I just don't belong anywhere. I'm longing to be a part of community or unity or whatever you wanna call it, but I'm just not feeling it. I made friends and they are really cool. I was going to make a whole Neoblog post about my new friends like we did with Neohomes in the old days. I still might.

For now, I'm just missing unity. It is one that that I will always miss about the past. I will never get that sense again here, no matter how hard I try. I think I will just stop trying.
terakins blogged
Apr 04, 16 1:42am

It's a pixel art of my Electric Pokemon Trainer!! I'm absolutely in love with this!
haalyle blogged
Apr 02, 16 10:48pm

Did my Programming Practical last Friday and I know I did terribly, but I wasn't the only one. We can retake the test if it's not a mark we're happy with, so I'll just have to wait and see.

I have a Presentation for Creative Processes coming up, but that's going alright. Trying to link my hunch up with my research hasn't been the best, but I'll manage.

Production is alright. I handed in my presentation of which I'll be showing the class on Wednesday, that's okay. I really, really like the bows I drew though:

And eh... Introduction to 3D is coming along, kinda.
Recently Updated Blogs
Top Blogs