We're driving on the highway,
On our way home,
When I spot I homeless man,
Cold and alone.

We come to a red light,
And stop for a while,
The man sees me looking,
He flashes a smile.

This man is insane,
I can see it in his eyes,
He pulls out a gun,
And that's when I realise

What he's about to do,
He's got his mind set on it,
I yell at him to stop,
But he's already done it.

He pulls the trigger,
The gun pointed at his head,
There's a small gun retort,
And a small show of red.

He's taken his life,
When he didn't have to,
He's taken his life,
As many others have, too.

Many young people,
And old ones too,
I want you to know,
Suicide's the wrong thing to do.

He was just a rookie trooper, and he surely shook with fright.
His armour was like paper, and his rifle it was shite.
He had to sit and listen to those awful mutons roar.
"You ain’t gonna live no more!"

Gory, gory, it’s the rookie’s turn to die!
Gory, gory, it’s the rookie’s turn to die!
Gory, gory, it’s the rookie’s turn to die!
He ain’t gonna live no more!

He looked around the dropship, and the smile fell from his face.
His team-mates all had laser guns and great big carapace.
All he had was a rifle and a flimsy kevlar vest.
He ain’t gonna live no more!


The landing ramp fell to the ground, they charged into the fray.
Our hero did whatever he could to simply run away.
His flanking shots were wildly aimed, his bullets went astray,
He ain’t gonna live no more!


Many died with fearsome wounds, the mission was a fail,
The rookie heard the last team member die with awful wails.
And something snapped inside his soul, he rushed back to the fight,
But he ain’t gonna live no more!


Bradford bellowed orders, Doctor Shen he shed a tear.
Doctor Vahlen’s ravings had them cowering in fear.
For grenades had ruined all the precious ET gear,
So he ain’t gonna live no more!


When they took him to the med bay, so many tears were shed.
Our hero lay with plasma burns upon his manly head,
Around him were the bodies of a hundred sectoid dead,
And he ain’t gonna live no more!


There was blood upon the Skyranger, and ichor on his boots,
Intestines were a-dangling from his body-armour suit,
He was a mess, they scooped him up, and threw him a salute,
But he ain’t…gonna live…no…MORE.

(Chorus, long and loud.)

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30. Lego City Undercover
The loading times are insane, you can hire a hooker and do the subsequent laundry before it’s loaded up. Hate Lego games, can’t stand them, enjoyed this a lot however, was probably the writing, Adam Buxton was involved. Like an old cop show, music was cool, tried to play Batman 2 right after it and it was salty trash in comparison. The 3DS game was misty, did not rank.

29. State of Decay
Got killed after about a week of being alive, at night out in a field helping some bellend who wouldn’t run away with me, lost interest after that, had a great time prior however. Multiplayer would have been awesome. Would go back had I not sealed the 360 away, maybe next Steam sale.

28. Beyond Two Souls
I was nothing but nasty to that flapjack special forces fella because he was a jerk, then the next scene is a romantic meal with him, then I let him get his eye cut out because he’s a jerk then the game ended with more romance, way to choose your own adventure David Cage. Also the whole Native ghost ranch section was a thing. Also singing a great Beck song does not inject your game with emotion, it’s lazy. Despite these criticisms I enjoyed it a lot more than Heavy Rain, maybe it was crippling those kids and setting the house on fire. Jerks.

27. Kentucky Route Zero
This is lower than it would be if there wasn’t a 6 month wait inbetween episodes, only two are out as of writing and they are a classy, abstract point and click adventure through an ethereal underworld. It’d be top five honestly if the rest of the eps are as good as the openers, see you on the 2015 best of list at this rate Kentucky Route Zero. If I’m still alive., if you’re actually finished.

26. Fire Emblem
Advance Wars is my shit son. So by proxy so is this. Those people have tiny feet, they look like hooves. I disabled the battle animations to quicken things up and had a wiley time. Would make a great commuting game, if only I had somewhere to commute to. There are 13 of these and I’ve only played two.

25. DmC
People like to hate on this game because there’s a new Dante, if I don’t like something I generally leave it alone (why Aliens Colonial Marines is not on this list) , partially responsible for why I’ve stopped reading the comments on anything, I live a calmer less rage filled life now. Game was cool, I love Ninja Theory they paint such pretty pastel pictures and they totally included a Futurama Slurm factory story in this. Alex Garland.

24. Saints Row 4
This looked terrible on the 360, they didn’t do a disc release for the PC (Virgin Media throttle Steam because they‘re out of order, sort it out), it was a tonne of fun regardless. Was a lot like Prototype only you could smoke illicit substances out of light bulbs and run super fast (Australia did not get this mission) which sure was childish and not cool. Grow up Saints Row 4 you awesome rascal.

23. Grand Theft Auto 5
Couple of tips I wish I’d had before I started, always call for taxis and ignore the side missions. I reckon about half my 28 hour playtime was spent driving to my next locations and toe trucking, and by half I mean 3 hours maybe til I figured no thanks and rang for taxis. Really got into the story in the final stretch there. Trevor was a cool character, I enjoyed his presence immensely. Lynch.

22. Peggle 2
You either Peggle or you don’t, I Peggle. It’s been out a day as of writing this and I spent all yesterday Peggling and it may have been the most constructive thing I did all year, even if I only won twice in the 30 or so online matches I was in. Flippin’ Peggle man. New powers, new boards, old Peggle. No local multiplayer, whaaaaaaaa.

21. Splinter Cell Blacklist
This is higher up than it should be, or is it? Hmm. I liked everything about it except for the QTE tacular final showdown which messed me up, I just don’t have the physical ability to press buttons as fast as games demand from me. That british dude from 24 was the main bad guy, you know, Chloe’s husband? Oh yeah the Guatanamo section kicked my arse countless times til I realised there was a ladder to the left of a watch tower, my bad.

20. Layton 6
The final adventure of Professor Layton and his assistant, The One In The Yellow, oh and a small child who just chills with him on his super dangerous adventure. I have enjoyed all of these and that it opened up a bit by letting you choose your destinations for egg searching was cool even if I took this freedom and did it left to right. What I do dislike about Layton is how dumb it always makes me feel come puzzle 60ish, I’d have been breezing through then bam I’m using those hint coins, making me feel as dumb as I am, the nerve. Layton will return with my boy Phoenix next year hopefully.

19. Stanley Parable
I forgot Outlast when I compiled this list what to do… Oh Stanley Parable you meta delight. I did everything other than play the baby fire game for two hours and stop the explosion (time will tell if there really is a solution, I think it’s better that there isn’t). Stanley Parable is super cool, the demo is awesome too. I love you The Stanley Parable, but you’re very short and I’m oh so tall.

18. Corpse Party Book of Shadows
More text adventuring this time with a quasi first person view, rolling around a haunted alternate world accidently not touching a desk 5 times or some shit. Yep, I resorted to guides and just enjoyed the side stories and alternative takes of the Corpse Party story. My favourite part was going to that house out in the country, accepting rides from strangers then them disappearing and going into the house that just appeared out of nowhere, yep, that’s sure what I would have done in that situation, those brave, mental kids.

17. Outlast
Did Outlast in one sitting, bought it in the same purchase as Stanley Parable and another game further down the list, plausibly the greatest Steam purchase I made as all three knocked it out the park. Strolling around a mental hospital with nothing but a video camera for company. Jump scares are cheap but they sure were effective at the start, odd that I became immune by the end. Also odd that the story devolved into science experiments at the end, then again it was inevitable. What a great little game, relied little on puzzles which edges it above the Amnesias in the same genre.

16. Pikmin 3
The time limit is theoretically gone, but you do have to stock up on fruit to survive so not really. It’s Nintendo’s real time strategy series and it sure is similar to the others, great times were had though I have not finished it, I got distracted by…

15. The Wonderful 101
… this, which is like Pikmin meets Viewtiful Joe by way of Okami. Clover Studios were the best. Platinum are now the best. 101 was nails to me, I got mucked up an awful lot yet still I came back for more whacky jelly slinky shenanigans. It’s all a bit mental and the drawing wasn’t super accurate and what I will say is did you notice how when the DSLite came out it had it’s stylus slot on the right as opposed to on the top? Then they released the 3ds and put it on the top, then put it on the right for the XL because it’s way better there. Why did they put the stylus back on the top for the wii u controller? it’s not intuitive and it winds me right up, sort it out Nintendo.

14. Luigi’s Mansion Dark Moon
Back to the mansion and this time it’s portable with bite sized missions. Another thing worth considering Nintendo is being able to save mid mission since some of these go on for close to an hour and your battery life ain’t great. Sort it out Nintendo. The Mansion games are the tits, I liked Capcom’s Gregory Horror Show a lot as well, in a similar vein but with mental illness.

13. Tomb Raider
It’s Uncharted only Lara isn’t mega smug like Nathan Drake and there’s a point halfway through that feels like it should be the end. This is some terrible writing, it’s as if I’ve been stream of consciousing this entire list then again who’s reading this? The only person I speak to here is Celes and I don’t think he’s still active. Why won’t they let me join in their reindeer games!? What’s a reindeer game? Tomb Raider is surprisingly solid, will I buy it for the next gen consoles? I dunno man they changed Lara’s face, which is a strange thing to do.

12. Tales of Xillia
A JRPG, finally, my favourite gaming genre. I miss world maps but the giant corridors that replace it are fine I guess. The game actually feels a bit cheap, can’t explain it, mayhaps it really is just that it doesn’t have a world map, but it was still great to play. Not looking forward to the sequel because paying off a debt as a mechanic sounds about as much fun as student loans only here it’s automatic and I didn’t piss away the money damaging my internal organs with intoxicants.

11. Dead Rising 3
Capcom come through in the clutch after for some reason pouring millions into Lost Planet 3 (not sure why I played that), I think I read somewhere that GTAV cost more to make than Capcom has in money full stop, I wish them well. Ride around town having a freaking ball messing up zombies then getting agitated by bullshit bosses, it’s Dead Rising all right, only with autosaving, it’s not loading forever and there’re less time limits in the default mode. Resident Evil made me into a cautious, bullethoarding, zombie avoiding survivor and that instinct has meant I have not been killing these folks and levelling up as much as I should be, much to my detriment. Looks fine, the reason I got a One at launch to be honest (Quantum Break's probably a higher reason actually), worth it. I dig the series.

My Best Games of 2013 50-31

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So yeah this is a post pending to get deleted in the thinkers lounge. The majority of them took this post pretty well, but it's actually a rather deep social commentary about how mankind has regressed to a state of complacency. Or it's just insanity.

Hello friends, fellow scholars, and neighborly neighbors! You may find this inconceivably difficult to believe, but I have found DEFINITE proof that human kind has a place in this universe. Still skeptical I see, well listen to my life changing story.

Just this morning I woke up with my regular routine of getting dressed, brushing my teeth, and singing modestly wild show tunes in my shower. When I had finished these daily routine's I went straight to breakfast, making a spanking double egg omlette, bacon, and a waffle. When I had finished, I got up and headed straight towards my car. I tried to open the door, but to no avail resulting in me looking for my keys. Coming to the realization I had left them, I swung around only to be met with the force of twenty Lincoln fords. Needless to say I blacked out,

When I had started regaining conciseness, I found a familiar warmth, almost like the warmth you feel when you realize you have finally escaped the one hundred minute horror that is the wicker man, starring Nicolas Cage. I mean seriously that movie has to be in my top ten list of worst movie's of all time and I was just so relieved when I left the theater! Anyways when I had opened my eye's I realized my body was floating in the vastness of space, Before I had time to panic I was face to face with the noodley protector of the universe. He spoke to me, "Son your strength in withstanding the extra-terrestrial horror that is the wicker man has granted you audience with me. I will answer one question about the universe". Mesmerized, I felt as if I couldn't think, that there was too much to process all at one time. I attempted to think with a million thoughts racing at once. Finally I after an undisclosed amount of time I had attempted to speak, but the words got caught in my throat. After performing a number of gutteral rituals I gained the nerve to ask him, "I have thought long and hard and I could never come up with a purpose for humankind, It seems we are destined for...", I frowned, no words came to mind.

It touched me with it's noodley appendage and it spoke, "Mortal, you are among the countless others who sit and ponder these secrets. I know that one day these questions will be eventually be answered, but your looking in the wrong place." His noodley appendage pointed to the vastness of space and morphed it into a breathe taking view of millions upon billions of different worlds and galaxies, all with different designs, shapes, planets, and more. His voice began to bellow once more, "This is where human kind's purpose lie's, you all have been so absorbed in your meaningless quarrels to see the bigger picture. The vastness of space is your's to explore, but it seems you all have become too complacent see that." The creature had a strange look, almost sadness. "Just fifty lunar cycle's ago, your kind was so eager to explore the star-", I cut it off, "Hey man I kind of left the oven on and I need to go turn it off, so could you get me a ride back to my place, or maybe there's a bus stop nearby?". I was smacked once again with the ferocity with the force of ten major league soft ball players.

I woke in my bed with a cold sweat and the oven off.

I mean don't get me wrong space would be pretty ballin, but I actually have poke'mon to train first,

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Hypnotic Beatz And Prophetic Lyrics On Deck In Huump Dutch Dodgers x King Marz SupremeVictory Dec.25th On DatPiff.com!! AINT NO MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Redemption I don't want to mess up the bugs thread with the wrong layout so I'll message you like this. On the mobile version when you press preview when posting it automatically posts.

My friend code is 2981-6728-7903
I have a dragon safari type with
Fraxure, Shelgon and Sliggoo

Looking for more friends to add!
Pm me if I didn't add you back within a day!

I just got Flechinder and Ditto safari, But still didn't got Sliggoo. I hope you got Noibat and Sliggoo in the same safari. i would love you if you did. my FC: 2509-2235-4927.

Remember this song everyone? Posted it in Pokelounge. No? Well, then. Listen to this, it'll jog your memory. (;

50. Contrast
Thanks PS + for your most kind welcome gift to the next generation, a game that looks and controls like it was made on a Net Yaroze: sincerely An Ingrate. Vitriol aside I really cannot get into this game, it’s hot garbage. Lost In Shadow was alright in retrospect.

49. Sonic Lost World
Sonic Colours and Sonic Generations are hot games, so hot in fact that I replayed through them both the week prior to Lost World’s release. Sonic Lost World was not a hot game. A sonic game with a run button. Traded in.

48. Dead Island Riptide
More of a ‘further adventures’ than a sequel. The beach level in the first may have been the only time I enjoyed this series. Word has it it’s more fun with friends but who has those? Games which I didn’t like that didn’t make the list: Aliens Colonial Marines, Monaco, The Cave.

47. Dead Space 3
Those three games prior were all games I actively disliked, from hereon out I have positivity and a few critiques. For example, DS3, positives: the floating around in space bits were cool. Critique: was action packed. So was the second one but it still had some semblance or survival horror about it this was way more gun ho. Put on a coat it’s cold out there.

46. Ryse: Son of Rome
After the first mission I was ready to launch this into the sun, turret section and sloppy combat but it was a week until the ps4 release so trading in immediately would have been futile so I persevered. You know what, wasn’t bad, shallow and looked pretty and eventually the combat clicked and I wasn’t taking no guff. Historical facts I learned from the game include people in Scotland based their whole existence on the movie Wicker Man (could be accurate) from animal masks to an actual Wicker Man. York was pretty even back then. Boudicca at some point in her career invaded Rome on the back of an elephant, that’s official.

45. Crysis 3
Played this on a console like a PAUPER. I don’t remember much about it other than it was a Crysis game with big open areas and it looked cool. It may have left a bigger impression, maybe my memory just sucks.

44. Final Fantasy 14
Rolled through Realm Reborn on the ps3, I got out of the first major area then when it opened up with airships I was like “naaah, can’t be bothered”. The mmo genre isn’t one of my favourites but there was a rad song in it, gonna see if I can find it… nope, it was rad though rest assured.

43. Puppeteer
Felt and looked a little Little Big Planety, so quaint yet sloppy, seemed alright, I lost interest though. Played without a Move because I’ve got enough junk cluttering the surrounds of my television thank you very much. Might go back.

42. Killzone Shadow Fall
In fairness I only rocked this game for a couple of hours and it didn’t seem overly intuitive in it’s signposting despite having beacons, aka I got lost a bunch also for an action packed fps akin to the CoDs I sure would have liked the aiming to snap to target. That may be a toggle in the options, one day I will check. Sure looks pretty, doy.

41. Remember Me
The combat and exploration were gash, never felt as fluid as I’d have liked. However the sense of place and the story were rather cool, I enjoyed my time in the world, when it wasn’t reloading checkpoints because I’d missed a jump or I wasn’t stuck in a 15 minute battle in one area because I clearly didn’t get something in it’s Arkham’s Creed combat knock off system.

40. Batman Arkham Origins
I was critiquing the signposting in Killzone just a moment ago and here we are again, what was going on? A distinct lack of polish and that gosh darn bridge man, tedious. Story pulled me through yet again, that Joker’s a cool character. Side note, I bought Blackgate and thought it was blah so it’s not on this list, poor Vita can’t catch a break.

39. Anarchy Reigns
This was sloppy, yet great fun, the closest to Power Stone I’ve seen in a while, something tells me Platinum’s A-Teams were working on other more awesome projects however. Sega shit this out without fanfare, though we were lucky to get it at all so thanks all the same. God Hand is a great game.

38. Gears of War Judgement
Solid, polished, boring. More of the same, what I will say though is the optional risk reward challenges in each area did spice it up a little, not bad at all just, well it’s Gears innit, this and Ascension exist for the sake of a few squeezed pennies methinks.

37. Killer is Dead
Suda’s phoning it in at this stage, he had three games on my list last year and this time he was supposedly going back to the glory days of Killer7 but it was more of a parody. We’re fighting on the moon, here’s a talking steam engine. Looked rad and played good, will play again.

36. Mario & Luigi Dream Team
Or: The point I connected the dots that the Kingdom Hearts composer did the music for the M&L games. Didn’t finish it due to other distractions but I was having a good time, liked it a darn sight more than last year’s Sticker Star. Nintendo had a dynamite year for games as will be evidenced in the rest of the list.

35. Attack of the Friday Monsters
A game where you walk around talking to people and occasionally card battling in order to progress. Digged the atmosphere and had a good ol’ time. Dumb game still won’t let me give that baker her laundry though, it was one of my first quests and she just won’t accept it. Sidenote: Starship Damrey was also from the Level 5 3DS camp this year and it was alright, once again, liked the atmosphere.

34. Need For Speed Rivals
I have never been so wound up as I was playing as a racer in this game, it’d be like hey you won the race, you’ve got many megabucks better get back to the base to bank them and boom! A cop side swipes you as you’re about to get there and you get wrecked losing everything. Colossal bullshit, this happened about three times and I was ready to destroy my xbox one because I am mentally stable, then I remembered you could play as a cop. Playing as a cop is rad, put about ten hours into it. Don’t care for the online functionality, as strangers flipping with me isn’t high on my enjoy list.

Vita came through with an actual game other than Soul Sacrifice this year (it was fine, didn’t play enough to pop it in here). If Mario hadn’t come out at the same time Tearaway could have been a contender. Great utilization of the vita’s various and pointless functions (rear touch, woooo). Like it a lot more than the Little Big Planets.

32. Animal Crossing New Leaf
Rocked this game for the first fortnight then abandoned it, now I’m scared to go back, they’ll be so disappointed in me. The game devolved into me doing all the weeding, chatting to everyone then going bug hunting on the island so I could buy the people a camp site then they’d be like “thanks for the campsite, we need a hospital” build your own hospital you layabouts. Busywork the game. Sure was suckered in for that fortnight though.

31. Resogun
Cannot beat the last boss because the game likes to give me points instead of shields or lives for saving humans. Every time I hear “points” I get wound up, you can keep your points Resogun no one I know is on the leader boards anyway. That aside, pretty saucing’ game.

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