I don't want people to know about my achievements. I want to be remembered for who I actually am. But since the vice principal went up and announced me as the winner of the spelling bee, I had no choice. And now I guess it's actually not that bad being remembered as that. Now that I have a base, I can continue to work harder.
This question has been on my mind a lot lately. I often reflect on my life and just wonder, "What's the point?" Why am I doing this, where is this getting me? Why are we alive what's the reason for existence? So many questions but so little answers. The most pivotal aspect of life is love. We all want to love and be loved. What is life without it? How would we exist without it. We wouldn't. Love is the apex of life. We wouldn't be in this world without it.
I feel like I'm so behind. I'm not where I am suppose to be. But I've had many struggles. I'm trying my hardest to get where I need to be, but I still can't help but feel discouraged because I am not where I want to be. Life is beautiful with many wonders and many things to enjoy. I just don't seem to be enjoying where my life is now. I don't know how to change it. We become so used to our ordinary ways. When something becomes a habit it's terribly difficult to get out of it.
I still have hope. That's the only thing I can cling to. I have so many dreams, so many goals for myself that I pray I can accomplish one day. But all I have to live for is today because I'm not promised tomorrow. So many amazing souls have been taken without a second chance. I'm still alive so I know there is still a chance to change. But can I?
Friendship is something we all enjoy. We all enjoy talking with friends, going places with friends, and just hanging out with friends. But lately I believe that technology has taken over a lot of that. Texting seems to be so much more convinient, people look to social media to see what's hip and to talk to friends. Less and less I'm seeing of people just going over to a friends house.
dude high schoolers are legit savages to each other, specifically 17-18 year olds. i forgot how.. idk mean people in that age bracket can be, just how they talk. their style of humor, what they consider as banter back between friends. was i like that when i was younger?
Wow. Two deaths of people, I grew up watching and listening to. Both of them too young to suddenly pass away. One at 57, the other was just 45.. Today has been a very sad day. Rest in peace Chyna. Rest in peace Prince. We'll miss you. Thanks for those special moments and for entertaining us through the years!
So whaddya guys & chicks think of the HxH dub? Good or eh? I always will love the original dub but the eng dub isnt all that bad.It's pretty decent to me. Plus the manga is finally continuing after forever thank god xD
Sooo, I haven't drawn anything for awhile due to the pressure I have in college and the standards that I'm forced to follow in order to get a good grade. Sometimes I think that maybe this is not for me. Did I really make a good choice to pursue this as my career? I'm not even sure what I want. Do I want to be an illustrator? an animator? a production artist? a concept artist? a photographer? I don't know.
A lot of people think being an artist is just draw, create, produce and that's it. Not a lot of them think about the scene behind it. Do you ever wonder why movies take years to produce (Inside Out took 6 years to finish)? How expensive someone's commission fee? How little sleep a manga artist have? Being an artist is filled with work load, and not a lot of people are appreciative of the effort that these people give. It takes YEARS of experience to be able to call yourself a professional. Because there is no such thing as being "good enough" in the art world. You must keep improving, get yourself out there, connect with others or just stay in your comfort zone.
Being an artist is not about just drawing. You also must learn how to communicate, to observe, to be patient and etc. You must also know how everything functions, because what's the purpose of a character if you don't know how they would move or function, your character would end up stiff. I really look up to concept artists, they are able to produce original designs/ideas that they know that it is reasonable. It's not easy to come up with something original. Plus, getting your art known out there is hard work. Your works get over shadowed by artists who are well known or basically better than you. Though it's not about how good you are, it's about your strategy. It's up to you on how to get yourself noticed. Yeah, it's kind of depressing really
In where I live, majority underestimate AB students (Bachelor of Arts), that what we are trying to pursue is easier than of an engineer, a scientist, or a teacher. Well, comparing something subjective to objective is just irrelevant because it's two different things. It's like comparing Einstein to Leonardo Da Vinci. Subjective and Objective can not live without each other. It would be nice if we weren't compared to what society thinks are much helpful for the community. Without artists, you are not able to have music, movies, books, video games or basically media itself. And that mentality of "artist's are poor". Well yeah, we spend money for years of study/training. Do you know how expensive art materials are? programs? and there are people who complain why we sell our works in such a high price. That they want their "commissions" free. WOW, this is ridiculous.
^see this. DON'T DO THIS
Art/Design is not just about putting random colors, random fonts, random images. It's more than that, there are so MANY rules to follow. Like Billboard Ads, you must have an easy to read fonts, that people can understand it in a glimpse. Ahh all of these are so complicated that I want to bang my head on a wall.
Now, I'm able to join a creative workshop to get myself back in the art scene and to learn how to act professionally. I want to talk about this more but I'm lazy and I have to fix my research manuscript haha hue maybe next timee
Yes... it's been done. I've withdrawn from the Game Design course as it wasn't really my thing anymore. I was beginning to lose interest over the later weeks, and soon all my motivation was gone.
Instead, I've used advice from my French Teacher and am looking into University to do French and Performing Arts... as I've found out that Acting seems pretty awesome. I've acted a few times in my life and I'm definitely open to more opportunities!
Lately, I'm been feeling kind of off. No, I'm not sick, I'm just having mixed feelings about this course. There are definitely some good aspects about it, but I've been gradually losing interest in it for the past few weeks now.
I love gaming, no doubt about it, but I have a feeling that the whole creative process, concept art and modelling just isn't my style. Programming is 'eh'. (I'm resitting the exam. Did terrible.) A part of me really, really wants to go back to something I really, really enjoyed doing throughout High School which was... learning French.
I have this huge interest in languages! I love learning about them! I love the different translations you get! Even better, I learn English as well. And I just really want to continue learning it.
But another thing that I really enjoyed, especially during my Primary School years was acting. I remember I was in a play once, as the narrator. I enjoyed that. Sure, the choir is hardly anything a part from the fact that I can perform in front of an audience alright and remember quite a few things, but I really like the idea of acting.
Ugh, I don't know. I'm hardly anywhere in this life as it is. I'll continue this course anyway, just to see how it goes.
In the last Neoblog, I was talking about my old group of friends. The comments you guys left me got me thinking about it more and I think I have come to a better resolution.
I guess I have to get slightly personal for this, but don't worry it will be relevant.
I'm a really bad friend.
It's true. All my friendships I've had in real life either end up with me not keeping in contact with my other friends, or just me in general treating my friends poorly. I'm saying that because it translates to my online life as well.
My old group of old friends on Neoseeker fell through obviously. I wouldn't have spend these two posts talking about it if it was still around. I feel like I'm partly responsible for it because of group drama or whatever you want to call it. I won't get into it or anything because it is extremely petty and I probably don't remember all the details, or rather fabricate them with my own bias.
What am I trying to say? I'm saying the reason I don't keep friends is not only because I'm a bad friend, but groups never stay around forever. People grow and environments change. Most of my old friends left the site forever. Some are still around, but they obviously don't play the old games anymore. Maybe they do, but there's no reason to talk about them because there's new stuff. They have new interests. Me too.
What I will say is that yeah, I'm a really bad friend, but I can be a friend. If you stop talking to me, that's fine. I've learned to accept it over the years. Will I miss our old times/good times? For sure. It still doesn't stop me from wondering how said person is. I have good intentions most of the time, despite me executing it terribly.
Besides, I have a new group of friends. The unity of the old group is gone, but on my good days I've come to accept it. My new bout of activity wouldn't have lasted this long without the likes of Chimaira or uraniumoreo and new friends Kokoro and Jesivis. It just wouldn't.
So, uh, is my conclusion that I should be happy that I even have friends? In a way. I'm happy to have new friends, but just because I don't have my old group anymore doesn't mean that those times didn't happen. They were fine times. I can blame myself for them ending, but it isn't totally my fault, is it?