Captain blogged
Apr 4, 16 9:51am

I see others have been blogging. That's good, right?

Anyway, I've been mulling this over for a little while now. I believe I don't really belong anywhere on this site anymore.

The thing is, I used to have a cool group. I know I've been trying to stay away from the past, but that's just it. That was my main drive to come to the site every day. I was happy to see my old crew. They are gone now and they will never be back.

Today, I return to the site with the hope that I'll have a group like that again. I suppose I shouldn't be thinking that way because the site is less active than it used to be and it is also highly unlikely I'll find a group exactly like my old group.

I guess what I'm saying is that I just don't belong anywhere. I'm longing to be a part of community or unity or whatever you wanna call it, but I'm just not feeling it. I made friends and they are really cool. I was going to make a whole Neoblog post about my new friends like we did with Neohomes in the old days. I still might.

For now, I'm just missing unity. It is one that that I will always miss about the past. I will never get that sense again here, no matter how hard I try. I think I will just stop trying.
terakins blogged
Apr 4, 16 1:42am

It's a pixel art of my Electric Pokemon Trainer!! I'm absolutely in love with this!
haalyle blogged
Apr 2, 16 10:48pm

Did my Programming Practical last Friday and I know I did terribly, but I wasn't the only one. We can retake the test if it's not a mark we're happy with, so I'll just have to wait and see.

I have a Presentation for Creative Processes coming up, but that's going alright. Trying to link my hunch up with my research hasn't been the best, but I'll manage.

Production is alright. I handed in my presentation of which I'll be showing the class on Wednesday, that's okay. I really, really like the bows I drew though:

And eh... Introduction to 3D is coming along, kinda.
terakins blogged
Apr 1, 16 7:34am

This is my kitten drawn as an electric type pokemon! She's based on Jolteon :)
Kokoro blogged
Mar 28, 16 12:53pm

This is my first blog post in a long time. Basically, in this blog post, I will give my history, my thoughts and my current status within the current state of Neoseeker's forums. This is going to be a long blog. First, a little history, and after that, I will discuss my current status on Neoseeker.

I first discovered Neoseeker in 2003, and then joined in the beginning of the next year, under the name RikkuLover. My posting within my first few years of Neoseeker were mostly done within the individual game forums. This is back when they actually got decent activity and small communities (which I will get more into later on), and in some cases, bigger communities. I was there when forums like the ones for Super Smash Bros. Melee and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas reached number 1 in PPD. I was a poster at both forums. It's just too bad I was noobish back then.

Eventually, I became a regular poster at this site's general discussion board, known as Loungin'. At the time, I was still noobish, and let's just say my reputation wasn't the best. But things eventually got better, and I continued to be a regular in the forum, even reaching #1 in the forum's top posters at one point, until Kingy passed me, and now I've been sitting at #2 for a while now. During 2007, I reached my 10000th post, and was sick of my RikkuLover name, and I paid for a name change to Kokoro, a name I have stuck with since.

Fast forward to 2012. This was the year I reached my 40000th post (and becoming 2nd only to Gotenks in terms of top posters sitewide), and started to become less active on Neoseeker, accumulating to taking a break from Neoseeker altogether by mid 2013, only posting occasionally. I briefly returned in late 2014 to early 2015, and regularly posted in this middle ground forum between Loungin' and Thinker's Lounge, known as The Lobby, a board that would get closed down this year, but still viewable. You can read the closing post in the forum's "Proposals, Grievances, and Innovations" thread. During early 2015, I would take another break, and return in early 2016, and here I am now.

Lately, I've been a regular poster at Gaming Lounge, Classic Gaming, General Mario Bros. and the Paranormal forum, making some new Neofriends along the way, including Haalyle, C Falcon, Colorful, Quixotic and Jesivis. I don't post in Loungin' quite as much as I used to though. That forum has been pretty dead lately for a general discussion forum. Gaming Lounge has actually been more active than it lately. Individual game forums are still as dead as they have been for years, with them only continuing to decrease in activity. As an example, compare 2011's Mortal Kombat 9 forum with 2015's Mortal Kombat X forum. The MK9 forum actually had some pretty good activity at first, which is more than what can be said for the MKX forum. As I said before, when I joined in 2004, it wasn't like this. You could find plenty of PS1 game forums with some activity. For example, the Tekken 3 forum actually got some activity, and the game was 6 years old at the time. Not to mention, Tekken Tag Tournament and Tekken 4 were already out at the time. But now, you would be lucky to have a game forum with even a little activity, even newly released games. This is excluding forums of Pokemon and Football (Soccer) games, which still get a lot of activity. They are pretty much the only exceptions.

Of course, Neoseeker in general hasn't been what it once was in terms of activity, because people use Social Media more than forums now, Neoseeker has never exactly the most popular gaming site in the first place, people being more busy these days, among other reasons. But despite that, Neoseeker continues to have that nice and small community.

I have been starting a revival at the General Mario Bros. forum lately, which so far has been kind of successful, even if things have been a bit more dead there within the last few days. My inspiration for reviving the forum goes to Chimaira for reviving the Classic Gaming forum late last year. Credit also goes to Gotenks for helping as much as he can with the forum's revival.

As of right now, I just look forward to see what Neoseeker has to offer in the upcoming months. Yes, I know this blog post is pretty long, but I've had a lot to say.That is all for now.
Lesley Pro_04 blogged
Mar 27, 16 6:03pm

When I started working at my current job, which will be nine years this May, I thought that I would be able to advance to wherever I wanted to within the store, provided it were within reason, and that I was working for a company that actually cared about their workers.

Neither of those have proven to be true, as in the present day I'm still doing what I was doing when I started, and to rewind it more than five years, which was when I realized that I was extremely naive to think that the company I was working for cared.

But it was how that happened which would have the biggest impact on me.

The day was January 20th, 2011. I had a meeting with my mental health therapist earlier in the day and was less than a month away of ending a six-month probationary period. Around 7 PM or so I get called into the office, and I'm entering that with a positive mindset.

That mindset had changed when I was told that I had violated it, and over something that I realized later on didn't even happen. My heart sank when I was told that my probation had been extended to a full year from that day.

I chewed on the unethical and illegitimacy of such an action and refused to sign the paperwork but it was like a football referee issuing an overly harsh red card: the action stuck. Needless to say I was legitimately devastated, spending my meal break in angry tears.

There was no speaking from me for the rest of the night because of how upset I was. Let my emotions out that night when I got home, but I was still angry. It was also the first time in my life that I had wanted to end it all because I felt as though I was working for nothing at all.

I did have one night where I got to have fun on the last Sunday of the month: the 2011 Royal Rumble was in Boston and I had already gotten tickets, so for a period of a few hours I got to forget about all the pain and mental suffering I was going through and enjoyed one of WWE's biggest PPV's of the year.

The pain lingered like a cold that wouldn't go away. But all colds eventually do go away.

About three weeks after my depression started, I felt as though nothing could make me happy again. I would be proven wrong, as my gf told me that one of her roommates had brought a dog into the apartment. I tagged along to her place a couple nights afterward to relax, but I also felt something calling me to do so.

I was glad I did. The moment I sat down and wondered "wait a minute: where's the dog?" the dog picked up on my presence, and after barking I got greeted to the friendliest, most cheerful dog I have ever come across: a Labradoodle, named Sadie!

Immediately, I could feel the anger and the mental pain dissipate as I couldn't help but pet this dog as she was so happy to meet someone new! And yes, I did get licked (quite a bit I might add), but Saide was also rather...vocal, shall we say, as she did have a tendency to bark.

That night, when I went home, I realized that I could still be happy because there was a friend that could make me happy just by being with me.

That summer I would move into said apartment because it was found by the local fire department to be illegal for my previous apartment to have a stove in the basement. So we lost the stove, and I chose to move out as a vacancy was opening up in that apartment, which was only across the street.

It wasn't the best of matches with the dog's owner at first but we got along. And I did beat that probationary period as well. For a time, I was quite happy as I had a dog that I was living with, whom was keeping me happy, however all good things must end.

As the lease was coming up for June 2014, it was eventually decided that the roommate and her dog would move out, while my gf and I would move into a different apartment in another part of town. We would still see Sadie every so often, including on Christmas these last two years and unexpectedly on Valentine's Day 2015 after having dinner near Harvard Square, amongst other times.

I had picked up on the audio pitch of her barking and followed it to the dog, which made for an amazing moment during one of last season's many snowstorms!

Not everything lasts forever though. This past fall in October, I was informed that Sadie had cancer. As some of you reading this may know, I was told in January that the cancer had spread and that she only had a limited amount of time left to live.

The day I'm writing this is Easter Sunday 2016. Earlier this afternoon, our former roommate called me and had requested that I get my gf and to put the phone on Speaker. Over the night prior, when she got home from work she had discovered that her dog was bleeding out, and after taking her to the hospital to get her examined, a decision was eventually made to put her to sleep.

As sad as that news was to hear, she is no longer in any pain or suffering and in a better place. At this point it was the right thing to do, even though it wasn't easy.

That being said, I will look back on the 5+ years that I've known Sadie, and I'll smile on them for happening with eternal gratitude for getting me out of a really dark place mentally that I was in, and for keeping me happy even when I didn't want to be.

In closing, I say this: Thank you Sadie. Thank you for coming along and bringing an incredible, amazing amount of happiness into my life, and for teaching me how to smile again.
Jesivis blogged
Mar 24, 16 8:21pm

For some odd reason, the last two days I've been seeing the number 33 everywhere I go.

The number first appeared when I decided to buy a lottery ticket from the gas station I used to work at. I went with a ticket that I've won on before and the ticket number was 33. Then I went home to scratch it and discovered I had won a free ticket. So I left my house and went out to get another ticket but from a different gas station. Well I asked the lady what the number of the ticket was and she said 11 and that's one of my lucky numbers so I wanted that one. But then when I got in my car to look at the ticket it was actually number 33.

Why did she tell me 11 even though it was 33? I was baffled another ticket on 33.

It get's even weirder.

That night my phone was all messed up and at 10:33 it froze. My phone froze up and it just so happened on 33. After my phone unfroze itself I decided to look at my Pintress. I noticed I had a new follower. I went to my page and guess how many followers I had...133. Yet again, there was that number 33.

I thought to myself, "Wow why do I keep seeing this number I'm really starting to get freaked out." This has to be it there's no way I'll see this number again, but I was wrong. So today I found out I was getting a raise at work so I posted about it on Facebook before my shift. Well after my shift, when I got home to check my Facebook, my status had 33 likes on that post. Again the number 33.

What could it mean... I swear the heavens are sending me signs right now I just have to figure out what it is.
Jesivis blogged
Mar 22, 16 10:15pm

It's March 22, 2016 and tonight's the full moon. You know what they say when the moon is full, that's the time when the crazies come out. People's emotions are heightened and they're more susceptible to be on their wild-side.

What a lot of people don't know is that when there is a full moon psychic energies are at a climax and that's the best time for to preform any kind of strong spell that needs to use a lot of energy. When energies are high this is also a time when someone's intuition is sky-rocketing, even if they don't mean for it to be.

This is a good time to channel and meditate because messages are likely to be received. As an empath I feel everything so deeply when the moon is full. So much so that I can feel anxious and I do.

The full moon is a good thing but also a bad thing. On nights like this I'm always prepared for anything and everything to happen.
Captain blogged
Mar 22, 16 7:52am

I wrote about age on my personal blog the other day. When I say "the other day" I mean like a week ago because what is time anyway?

My friend Iscariot celebrated his 30th birthday recently and it got me thinking about age in its entirety. I won't get into the personal aspects because no one cares about what I think of my age. I will chat about age related to my Neoseeker life.

In my second bout of activity, I have a pretty close group. We were all friends (I guess) from all over the world. Anyhow, I was pretty much the oldest in the group. They were all from 2 to 4 years younger than I was.

I take this into perspective because I probably shouldn't have been hanging out with kids that were that much younger than me. I mean, I had a few that were my age or maybe a year older, but the majority were younger than I was.

Now, in my third bout of activity, everyone is older than I am. I am the guy that is 4 years younger than everyone else. It is interesting how the role has swapped. Honestly, I think I'm the youngest habitual visitor of the Classic Gaming forum. I'm not that much younger, but I am when you look at everyone else's age.

I think Neoseeker's current community has been around since they first signed up for the site back in the early 2000's. They were probably at least teens at that time. I don't think I was a teenager when I signed up in '04. The people that have been on the site as long as I have were probably older than me. My second bout of activity brought in new members who were pretty young and they probably have left the site.

What am I saying? I guess I have never been one to hang out with my own age group. I look at my other online friends. One is 3 years older than me. The other is 3 years younger than me.

It's just something funny I guess. Regardless, my new Neoseeker friends probably don't care how much older they are than me.
Jesivis blogged
Mar 21, 16 11:43pm

As of the last few day's I can't seem to shake this feeling of "impending doom" that's been consuming me.

You know the feeling when you think all hope is lost and at any second you could just cease to exist? As if the universe were to implode and all matter would break up into particles leaving you spread out into the nothingness of space. Like reality is a giant building and then suddenly something triggers a collapse and it all comes crumbling down.

When this feelings surfaces everything around me starts to look different. Almost as if I'm looking at the world through a completely new pair of eyes. Eyes that perceive what seems so natural as something that is utterly unnatural. The world is no longer the same. In the precipice of this doom my soul searches for meaning and reason for such a complex existence and a magnificent universe which can be defined as everything but also nothing at the same time.

My anxiety begins to rise as my mind can't find a calming, happy answer to this question. A void opens up inside my heart and I'm hollow. I start to feel the pressures around me and the walls of reality start to cave in on my existence. Right when I think this could be it, it all stops and I go back to seeing the world the way it's always appeared.

Why is this happening to me..

Could it possibly be the demons from the realms of the loss oblivion trying to spread worry, and doubt inside my soul like an infectious disease that will eventually consume all of my innocence, my spirit, and my happiness. For what would we do when happiness is everything?
Jesivis blogged
Mar 20, 16 4:43pm

Defined as: "a feeling of having already experienced the present situation."

For the past couple months I've had this eerily sensation of dejavu. It doesn't matter what I'm doing but out of nowhere I just get this feeling like I've already experienced and done this before. It's a really odd and strange feeling. Whenever I get dejavu I can't help but feel like I my blood is turning to ice and I get a weird tingle throughout my body.

I don't know what it means or what it could be leading to. I don't know whether I've dreamed of the situations I've been in and then when I actually experience it in real life that's why I get the dejavu feeling or if it could almost be like a parallel life, one I've already done what I'm about to do here is somehow showing through into the present life that I'm in.

Could it be a sign from my guardian angels that I'm doing something wrong?

I guess I will have to find out.
Jesivis blogged
Mar 19, 16 3:30pm

Numbers are all around us. They're what we use to tell the time and date. Without them we would be lost in a world with no schedule or routine. Our lives depend on numbers. How would we celebrate special dates like holidays or birthdays if we didn't have numbers? Numbers are everything.

As I've become more spiritual my eyes have finally opened. My soul has connected to the universe and I've started to see patterns in numbers more frequently as the days go on. The universe leaves us signs everywhere. They can come in the form of patterns called sychronicity. Sychronicity is defined as: "the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection".

When something is significant to you, you'll know it. For example, my favorite number is seven and I see it everywhere. Today, I went out to buy some scratch-offs because I was feeling lucky. So I bought seven different tickets. Each ticket has a number attached to it. Every ticket that I bought ended with a seven. What is the likely-hood that every ticket that I chose at random, without asking for the number, ended up ending with the number seven, my lucky number?

I can't help but feel like this is a pattern and a sign from the universe that I'm on the right track and that I made the right decision with buying these scratch-off tickets. Everything around us is connected, nothing is random, and nothing is coincidence.
Jesivis blogged
Mar 19, 16 1:06am

Once upon a time, a long time ago in a far off world there was a little boy who found himself trapped in a castle by an evil, old man. The little boy spent day and night, alone and by himself locked inside his room. He had to stay awake every night to serve dinner for the crooked old man so at an early age he learned how to cook.

One night when the storm clouds covered over head and the lightning filled the skies, the little boy finally had been so beaten and broken down he lost all hope. In that moment of no hope left, he saw a magnificent creature appear before him.

This creature stood tall and strong with the body of a god but the head of a jackal. The shadow before him introduced himself as the little boy's Anubis. He was the boy's guardian spirit and had been watching him his entire life. He told the boy about his plan to get him out of the castle.

The Anubis handed the boy this clear bottle containing a green-colored liquid. He told the boy to mix it into the old man's dinner but not until he cried his ghastly howl. So on that night that the old man heard the Anubis howl ignoring it for a wild animal outside, the little boy opened the bottle and mixed it into the old man's food.

As the old man ate his dinner he started to feel a strange sensation. His eyes were finally opening and he could see the jackal standing in front of him. The grumpy man couldn't believe what he was seeing. Standing there beside him stood a tall dark figure with gleaming red eyes and sharp canine teeth. He jumped from the table scared out of his wits and ran down the hall.

The Anubis chased after him shouting "Let the boy out, let him out!" The old man tried to ignore him and ran to his own room only to be trapped by this unknown presence. Finally the old man screamed, "Alright! Enough!", and went down the hall and opened the door to the boys room to let him out.

Before the boy could leave the old man blocked the doorway. The Anubis told him to move but he wouldn't. So the little boy grabbed the candle stick holder with the burning candles beside his bed and smashed it over the old man's head and he feel to the floor with his blood squirting out all over the room.

The boy jumped over the evil man, through the doorway down the hall, and out the front door of the castle where he jumped on his Anubis' back and road off into the moonlight to live happily ever after, far, far away from the evil, old man.
Captain blogged
Mar 18, 16 7:49am

I would like to say that you should slightly ignore my bitterness in Neoblog 18. I've been having pretty bad days for a while, but that is personal stuff which I will write on my personal blog. This blog is for Neoseeker.

Anyway, I've been interested in my post count lately. Like I've said before, much to Oglop's chagrin, I want to move on to the cool looking deep green icons on the forums. Pink is not me.

I've been looking at the community index thing and I see I've been posting about 11 times a day this week. That's pretty good, right? I mean, it isn't top 10, but it is good for me. A few days I'll be in the lower top 10. I doubt I'll ever make it to number 1 without spamming or jumping to multiple forums where I probably don't belong.

I've been thinking pretty hard on which game I want to write about for my Game of the Week in the Classic Gaming forum. A lot of people, and I hate to say this, have kinda fallen off and others had to jump to the rescue. Thus is life I suppose.

Anyhow, my game. I have a few in mind. I'm not sure which I want to write about since none of them are as awesome as my original Game of the Week: Hero's Quest 1.

I've kinda slacked on the contributions to the site, but I did add something to a Wiki yesterday. I also want to create a badge for the Mario Bros community. They don't have a Waluigi badge. Man, he's like my favourite Mario character.

I was playing the SNES version of F-Zero yesterday. The practice races went smoothly, but the Grand Prix lagged like crazy. At least I can say I'm not a fake Captain Falcon fan anymore.

I had a really dumb idea yesterday to create a "group" called the Neoseeker Tea Party and we'd just talk about tea since I have at least a cup of tea a day. You can imagine why this wouldn't work because a "tea party" is now forever branded by this new-age conservative politics in America. Maybe if other members were interested, I could change the name and still have a nice little group. Oh well.
haalyle blogged
Mar 18, 16 12:54am

Alright, another week has gone past and I'm getting deeper into this course. I have a programming assessment next Friday, the only class that has a practical exam in class. Gonna look back and study some scripts that I gotta remember how to write for that time.

The title is a reference to a metaphor my Creative Process lecturer said my 'hunch' (which is the horror game I've had on my mind for months) said. I dunno 'Reality is an enemy' sounds better to be honest. Also, we did some brainstorming of analyzing the information we gained from our interviews. We were separate into three groups of four (with one group having three because they came in late), with me being appointed leader for our group. Yay... guess it looks like I'm in another type of 'leadership' role. Anyway, Luke and I did most of the work while the other two talked about games and that, helping out at the end with our insights. We'll be doing more brainstorming in our groups next week.

Nothing new for Introduction to 3D to be honest, just finalizing my concept art to put into Maya.

As for Production, I'm moving on to making around 70 thumbnails. 40 = 10 for 4 characters. 30 = 3 for props. I'll also be drawing a setting, which will be the climax for my story. Thumbnails don't take too long to draw, get them out of the way and pick 4 that stand out and draw more 'detailed' versions of them (for the characters).

Yeah, so I'm having a good time so far. Although I just realized this afternoon that my Programming test is on Good Friday, which is when my family is coming up. It's gonna be a busy day depending on how much time I spend at the college.
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