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runeripper.blog
My brain in a blog
I have a constant fear of being killed by a ninja.. Sure it sounds stupid but consider this. You get a knock at the door, you answer.. no one is there and you think to yourself "Damn.." as you shut your door and turn around a ninja cuts you in half. As your dying, you're thinking: *bleep* why didn't I see it coming? Because no one ever excepts to be killed by a ninja.
I hate using the bathroom at other people's house. I'm 16 years old and its not so much as I'm terrified of it, I just like the secure feeling I have when I take a shit at my house. Like for example, I know when I take a shit at my house some mentally *bleep* family member isn't going to bust in and start pissing all over me while I'm taking a shit. This one I was taking a piss in Wal-Mart and this guy comes in, gets down on the floor, reaches under one of the stalls and grabs this guys foot and goes "I got you now" then he got up and ran out... The guy taking a shit was clearly scared out of his mind I could hear him breathing heavy.
I hate not being able to say faggot or gay around homosexuals. What makes me mad is like when they overhear the word and they give you that shitty look, (not the I wanna suck your cock look), the hey *bleep* you too, pal, look. Oh, because you're gay and every time I say faggot or refer to something as being gay I'm automatically talking about you. Sucking a cock isn't even being a faggot, being a faggot is taking hearing someone say faggot and get offended by it. I could careless that you like the take a cum-bath facial..I don't care that when you role-play one of you is the girl.
I hate people who listen to Fall Out Boy and even worse is people who have been listening to Fall Out Boy since before they made it big and they're all proud and actually disown new Fall Out Boy fans. Like you're a better person because you have such a shit taste in music you actually spotted Fall Out Boy before they had a song on the radio. You have Spider senses like Spiderman, only for you its for terrible music.
I fantasize about being a Jedi, all the *bleep*ing time. I think it would be so cool to just mind-trick someone to walking in front of a bus. I would do that shit to so many people. But that's not all I'd use it for. You know how many times I come in my lonely basement room, come to computer desk and sit down and forget to turn out the *bleep*ing light. I could just wave my hand and use the Force to flip the switch, awesome. On top of that it would be ownage to lightsaber duel someone. The downside of fighting someone with a lightsaber is it's insanely dangerous and if you lose, you die. But who the *bleep* would fight someone with a lightsaber anyways?
I think about molesting Harry Potter.. I know some of you are like "wow, what the *bleep*" okay, check this out. You can't kill him with magic, right? Any time someone tries to kill him, there's always a mass conspiracy to help him or some Order of Phoenix bullshit that's been around for ages to protect something or the other. Who is looking out for Harry getting molested? Nobody. If someone really wanted to *bleep* up Harry Potter, all they would have to do is molest him. There's no magic spell for raping someone's soul. He would spend years trying to get over, but never getting over the betrayal of having his balls sucked by that hairy man who lives outside the castle of magical fairy land.
I hate "diet" pops. It's not so much that I hate it for some reason, it's the marketing of it that I loath. Like "It's so much regular Mountain Dew, we shouldn't even call it Diet Mountain Dew. What they don't tell you is Diet Mountain Dew taste like shit. Or where it's like "Pepsi One" with only 1 calorie. What the *bleep* is a calorie? If you want to go on a *bleep*ing diet, try consuming less of something or just drink water. Don't go out of your way to buy these *bleep*ing diet pop products. It's not even the taste that pisses me off, it's the marketing of it. I turn on the TV and ever other commercial is a a can of Dr. Pepper singing a song with Flava Flav's voice. Do you really want a man who wears a *bleep*ing clock to market your products? *bleep* you.
I hate Sarah Jessica Parker. I spend a lot of time thinking of ways to make like an official religion about how much I hate that stupid bitch. I honestly don't have a legitimate reason to hate her, but when I see her on TV, I wanna *bleep*ing throw a baby out the window. I hope someone sneaks in to her house while she sleeps and takes a shit on her face and she chokes on it and dies. I'm seriously enraged that she is alive. I hate that stupid show Sex in the City, every time she narrates, I want to commit sepuku on myself.
I would have sex with Judge Judy. I don't know what it is about her, but the way she sees through everyone's bullshit and makes them feel stupid for breathing the same air as her *bleep*ing turns me on.
I hate Hinder. That band sucks so much of their own cock its not even funny. The amount of cock they suck seeps through every song by soundinglike every other *bleep*ing song they've done. Did you notice how their first single sounded like their next any single that came out after that. And as if singing in the same way isn't enough, every song is about missing some girl, having sex, or not having sex, or thinking about having sex, boring. If I wanted to listen to music about sex, I'd listen to porno music (which I hate).
I hate porn music. Nothing makes my dick go limp like some shitty melody, jazz music, the infamous "bow-wow-chicka-bow-wow" When I'm watching porn, the only sound I want to hear is someone's nut sack slapping against some part of a women. That's really all the audio you need for a porn, anything else would just be over doing it. There is no song you can match up to having sex with. Like when you're watching a movie and a awesome song kind of plays in the background during a slo-mo gun fight, you're like oh wow, nice choice of music. You don't ever appreciate the music on porn. It's *bleep*ing distracting and contributes nothing towards the quality of the porn. That would be like watching a DVD with the Directory Commentary option on, as cool as a movie may be, no one gives a *bleep* what the director was thinking at that time.
I hate people who are cooler than me. Ha, trick rant, nobody is cooler than me.
*bleep* you Steve Wilkos. The man was my favorite bouncer on Jerry Springer, he was a take no shit badass and then he got his own TV show... I watched the first few episodes of it. I thought to myself, he's been around for all of Jerry Springer, he's earned his respect as a badass. After only 3 episodes, he totally undid all the respect I had him for that he'd earned over the years of being on Jerry. The first episode, I was all "*bleep* yea, get in that mother*bleep*ers face and yell" and it was cool.. but then next episodes of him yelling.. Boring. I wanted to see him pick up someone who molested their own daughter and *bleep*ing body slam them on a table or something. Every episode, he just yelled and yelled. At least on Springer he was making physical contact with people.
I loving saying *bleep* and the only reason I like it is because I would never say it in the presence of a actual black person or most white people. Like when I talk to my friends, the word *bleep* can be used in almost any sentence, begging and ending with the word *bleep*. And then we add other conjunctions to it like ing or ed. But when a black person comes around it's like the automatic need to not get the shit kicked out of you takes over and word is deleted from your vocabulary. It's truly amazing and I hope that black people continue to rage over it because it wouldn't be any fun if you go out to check your mail and you see your neighbor and you're like "Sup nigga?" and he's like "Nothing much, how are you?"
The first time I saw a actual pair of tits, I didn't actually see them. Here's what happened. My dad was driving his girlfriend's daughter to a concert and I was going with the. I was in the back seat of our SUV looking out the window and I see this convertible with 3 guys in it and this car behind them packed with chicks. I swear, there must have been like 9 girls in one car, it was like a pussy factory or something in there. One of the girls pops out of the sunroof and starts lifting her shirt. I'm like so excited, I'm fixing my eyes dead on this chick ready to burn the image of her beautiful breast in to my mind forever and just then, traffic starts moving again and we pull away... I was so pissed off. That was when I realized that for that to happen, they way it did, the universe conspired against me to not see those titties. I lost faith in God that day.
I saw a hooker once and it was everything I thought it would be. She was black, wearing a hot pink mini skirt, a pink tank-top, short hair and looked slightly dirty. Not dirty like been eating out of a dumpster the last few weeks, but like "I would give you a handjob in church" dirty. As we came to the corner, or rather, her corner and made our turn I swear she mouthed "if you want this pussy, all you gotta do is pay." I know that sounds like a lot to get from someone mouthing words but I swear, it's what she said. Thinking back on the whole thing, if I had 20 bucks I probably would have banged her.
I hate the show cops. I hate how its like made out to be cool, entertaining, cutting edge, violent, awesome, and all this shit but its not. It's filed with shit like take this for example. I watched a episode where some bitch-cop actually arrested a homeless person for taking change out of a fountain. You know those fountains in L.A. where people throw coins in.. some homeless guy got reported for taking them and the cop actually said "what are you doing taking these coins?" as if he expected some other logical explanation that didn't involve the fact that the man was *bleep*ing homless! He was like being a badass and trying to intimidate this guy and shit and finally took him to jail after he busted him 15 minutes later for doing the same thing. A homeless man taking change that no one wants so he can buy food or a dickhead cop stopping a man from eating by arresting him for taking coins in a fountain that no one gives a *bleep* about. Which one of those is the real crime?
I hate using the bathroom at other people's house. I'm 16 years old and its not so much as I'm terrified of it, I just like the secure feeling I have when I take a shit at my house. Like for example, I know when I take a shit at my house some mentally *bleep* family member isn't going to bust in and start pissing all over me while I'm taking a shit. This one I was taking a piss in Wal-Mart and this guy comes in, gets down on the floor, reaches under one of the stalls and grabs this guys foot and goes "I got you now" then he got up and ran out... The guy taking a shit was clearly scared out of his mind I could hear him breathing heavy.
I hate not being able to say faggot or gay around homosexuals. What makes me mad is like when they overhear the word and they give you that shitty look, (not the I wanna suck your cock look), the hey *bleep* you too, pal, look. Oh, because you're gay and every time I say faggot or refer to something as being gay I'm automatically talking about you. Sucking a cock isn't even being a faggot, being a faggot is taking hearing someone say faggot and get offended by it. I could careless that you like the take a cum-bath facial..I don't care that when you role-play one of you is the girl.
I hate people who listen to Fall Out Boy and even worse is people who have been listening to Fall Out Boy since before they made it big and they're all proud and actually disown new Fall Out Boy fans. Like you're a better person because you have such a shit taste in music you actually spotted Fall Out Boy before they had a song on the radio. You have Spider senses like Spiderman, only for you its for terrible music.
I fantasize about being a Jedi, all the *bleep*ing time. I think it would be so cool to just mind-trick someone to walking in front of a bus. I would do that shit to so many people. But that's not all I'd use it for. You know how many times I come in my lonely basement room, come to computer desk and sit down and forget to turn out the *bleep*ing light. I could just wave my hand and use the Force to flip the switch, awesome. On top of that it would be ownage to lightsaber duel someone. The downside of fighting someone with a lightsaber is it's insanely dangerous and if you lose, you die. But who the *bleep* would fight someone with a lightsaber anyways?
I think about molesting Harry Potter.. I know some of you are like "wow, what the *bleep*" okay, check this out. You can't kill him with magic, right? Any time someone tries to kill him, there's always a mass conspiracy to help him or some Order of Phoenix bullshit that's been around for ages to protect something or the other. Who is looking out for Harry getting molested? Nobody. If someone really wanted to *bleep* up Harry Potter, all they would have to do is molest him. There's no magic spell for raping someone's soul. He would spend years trying to get over, but never getting over the betrayal of having his balls sucked by that hairy man who lives outside the castle of magical fairy land.
I hate "diet" pops. It's not so much that I hate it for some reason, it's the marketing of it that I loath. Like "It's so much regular Mountain Dew, we shouldn't even call it Diet Mountain Dew. What they don't tell you is Diet Mountain Dew taste like shit. Or where it's like "Pepsi One" with only 1 calorie. What the *bleep* is a calorie? If you want to go on a *bleep*ing diet, try consuming less of something or just drink water. Don't go out of your way to buy these *bleep*ing diet pop products. It's not even the taste that pisses me off, it's the marketing of it. I turn on the TV and ever other commercial is a a can of Dr. Pepper singing a song with Flava Flav's voice. Do you really want a man who wears a *bleep*ing clock to market your products? *bleep* you.
I hate Sarah Jessica Parker. I spend a lot of time thinking of ways to make like an official religion about how much I hate that stupid bitch. I honestly don't have a legitimate reason to hate her, but when I see her on TV, I wanna *bleep*ing throw a baby out the window. I hope someone sneaks in to her house while she sleeps and takes a shit on her face and she chokes on it and dies. I'm seriously enraged that she is alive. I hate that stupid show Sex in the City, every time she narrates, I want to commit sepuku on myself.
I would have sex with Judge Judy. I don't know what it is about her, but the way she sees through everyone's bullshit and makes them feel stupid for breathing the same air as her *bleep*ing turns me on.
I hate Hinder. That band sucks so much of their own cock its not even funny. The amount of cock they suck seeps through every song by soundinglike every other *bleep*ing song they've done. Did you notice how their first single sounded like their next any single that came out after that. And as if singing in the same way isn't enough, every song is about missing some girl, having sex, or not having sex, or thinking about having sex, boring. If I wanted to listen to music about sex, I'd listen to porno music (which I hate).
I hate porn music. Nothing makes my dick go limp like some shitty melody, jazz music, the infamous "bow-wow-chicka-bow-wow" When I'm watching porn, the only sound I want to hear is someone's nut sack slapping against some part of a women. That's really all the audio you need for a porn, anything else would just be over doing it. There is no song you can match up to having sex with. Like when you're watching a movie and a awesome song kind of plays in the background during a slo-mo gun fight, you're like oh wow, nice choice of music. You don't ever appreciate the music on porn. It's *bleep*ing distracting and contributes nothing towards the quality of the porn. That would be like watching a DVD with the Directory Commentary option on, as cool as a movie may be, no one gives a *bleep* what the director was thinking at that time.
I hate people who are cooler than me. Ha, trick rant, nobody is cooler than me.
*bleep* you Steve Wilkos. The man was my favorite bouncer on Jerry Springer, he was a take no shit badass and then he got his own TV show... I watched the first few episodes of it. I thought to myself, he's been around for all of Jerry Springer, he's earned his respect as a badass. After only 3 episodes, he totally undid all the respect I had him for that he'd earned over the years of being on Jerry. The first episode, I was all "*bleep* yea, get in that mother*bleep*ers face and yell" and it was cool.. but then next episodes of him yelling.. Boring. I wanted to see him pick up someone who molested their own daughter and *bleep*ing body slam them on a table or something. Every episode, he just yelled and yelled. At least on Springer he was making physical contact with people.
I loving saying *bleep* and the only reason I like it is because I would never say it in the presence of a actual black person or most white people. Like when I talk to my friends, the word *bleep* can be used in almost any sentence, begging and ending with the word *bleep*. And then we add other conjunctions to it like ing or ed. But when a black person comes around it's like the automatic need to not get the shit kicked out of you takes over and word is deleted from your vocabulary. It's truly amazing and I hope that black people continue to rage over it because it wouldn't be any fun if you go out to check your mail and you see your neighbor and you're like "Sup nigga?" and he's like "Nothing much, how are you?"
The first time I saw a actual pair of tits, I didn't actually see them. Here's what happened. My dad was driving his girlfriend's daughter to a concert and I was going with the. I was in the back seat of our SUV looking out the window and I see this convertible with 3 guys in it and this car behind them packed with chicks. I swear, there must have been like 9 girls in one car, it was like a pussy factory or something in there. One of the girls pops out of the sunroof and starts lifting her shirt. I'm like so excited, I'm fixing my eyes dead on this chick ready to burn the image of her beautiful breast in to my mind forever and just then, traffic starts moving again and we pull away... I was so pissed off. That was when I realized that for that to happen, they way it did, the universe conspired against me to not see those titties. I lost faith in God that day.
I saw a hooker once and it was everything I thought it would be. She was black, wearing a hot pink mini skirt, a pink tank-top, short hair and looked slightly dirty. Not dirty like been eating out of a dumpster the last few weeks, but like "I would give you a handjob in church" dirty. As we came to the corner, or rather, her corner and made our turn I swear she mouthed "if you want this pussy, all you gotta do is pay." I know that sounds like a lot to get from someone mouthing words but I swear, it's what she said. Thinking back on the whole thing, if I had 20 bucks I probably would have banged her.
I hate the show cops. I hate how its like made out to be cool, entertaining, cutting edge, violent, awesome, and all this shit but its not. It's filed with shit like take this for example. I watched a episode where some bitch-cop actually arrested a homeless person for taking change out of a fountain. You know those fountains in L.A. where people throw coins in.. some homeless guy got reported for taking them and the cop actually said "what are you doing taking these coins?" as if he expected some other logical explanation that didn't involve the fact that the man was *bleep*ing homless! He was like being a badass and trying to intimidate this guy and shit and finally took him to jail after he busted him 15 minutes later for doing the same thing. A homeless man taking change that no one wants so he can buy food or a dickhead cop stopping a man from eating by arresting him for taking coins in a fountain that no one gives a *bleep* about. Which one of those is the real crime?
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How long did this take you? ;p
*should have
I lol'd at the Harry Potter bit, actually I lol'd at alot of it.