Chaos' Blog of Awesomeness

So, I bought Superman 64 the other day. I remember buying this game and playing it as a kid. As a kid, my mom and dad always let me rent one game every weekend. So I'd go across the street to Blockbuster, take a look at the small collection of Nintendo 64 games they had, and finally picked out a game. It was Superman 64. I was so upset, that game was a piece of shit back then, and now it's an even bigger piece of shit compared to today's standards. I mean, seriously, how did a game, even back then, get released? I feel bad for the poor saps who paid a full $50 retail for that *bleep*er.

I played it yesterday for the first time. I don't know. It takes time. It's not as bad as I thought it was at one point. But you need to have a shit load of patience, and a bottle of Tylenol nearby.

First: THERE ARE SO MANY *bleep*ING RINGS. Why in the hell would a villain create a maze of rings in order for the hero to fly through in order to save their friends? The villain in the game should be trying to punish the hero, not the person playing the game. You need to be nearly perfect while going through these rings. They allow you to miss up to three throughout the entire maze. The time is really limited though, and you can screw up very easily. It's not too bad until there's a point where you need to sharply go up, down, left, or right. It's a complete pain in my ass, and you need to slow down in order not to screw up at this part too bad, or just get really lucky. The controls are crap.

Second: The levels don't give you much room to get used to the game. After finally getting through the rings, you come to a mission, or whatever the hell you want to call it, where you have to move two cars to safety... or whatever. You have seven seconds to figure out how to pick up the first car, move it, and throw it. You then get about eleven more seconds to move the second car. Watch out for that one lady walking down the street, if you hit her, you're screwed.

Third: When you screw up, why can't you just replay the current mission you're on? Must you have to fly through the rings every damn time? It gets repetitive and boring. On the plus side, you'll begin to master your ring-flying skills. Also, when you fail a mission, why would they even give you an option to restart the game or restart the mission? You can press the A button to restart the mission and press START to restart the game. Why? Seriously? What if you didn't save your game, and you accidentally pressed the start button? You have to go through everything AGAIN.

Fourth: The graphics are absolute crap, and so are the controls. Why is it that a lot of the times the sky is pink? The sky isn't pink, the sky is blue. Is the sun supposed to be setting? Why not make it a darker shade of pink or red, and maybe add a sun up there in the background? Not to mention, but there's so much fog in this game. It makes it really hard to see, as if trying to fly around the city wasn't hard enough to do in the first place.

Lastly, this game can go to hell. I haven't been able to save due to not having a controller pak for my N64, but I've been playing the game a bit since I bought it. I made a vow to beat this piece of shit by the end of Summer. Hopefully I'll make it that far.