Vinny's back with his latest tales of sex, race, and wrestling, all sponsored by Pepsi. Which brings us now to a word from our sponsor: Every Pepsi refreshes the world.
Or maybe not, since this author doesn't sell ad space to Pepsi. I think I'm back to my old pattern of posting about once a month. I'll try to maintain this not-too-vigorous pace of monthly blogging or maybe even post a little more often than that if I start feeling more inspired.
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Let's start with a few observations from the world of TV commercials. As we all know, in any commercial, the brand being advertised has a flat 1.000 winning percentage against "leading brand," "competitor," "the other guys," or, especially, the ever-inferior "imitator." This is true whether they're advertising pesticides, paper towels, or pain killers.
Very frequently on TV commercials, the various products are represented by human actors. And it's always laughably easy to know which one will win. When every product representative is of the same gender and race (like in those satellite ads), usually you can guess which one will win based on looks (hint: the fat guy loses).
However, when the actors are of different genders, the winner will almost invariably be the female one (unless it's a kids' board game, in which case girls almost never win). As for race, African-Americans do fairly well in one-on-one competitions or when "prescribing" a product to someone else, but they usually lose when more than two products are being compared.
Lastly, Hispanics are surprisingly rare on commercials. I don't know why that is. You don't see many people who look "a little" Hispanic, in fact.
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Yeah, the NFL Draft is coming up sometime soon. And I'm not even going to post my mock draft, even if I can probably do as good a job as Mel Kiper Jr. can. I don't know why the professional guessers feel compelled to spend thousands of hours analyzing arbitrary decisions that will require 5-10 years to determine whether they were right or not.
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Remember that fake wrestling federation I mentioned last time? Well, it had already folded by the time I made my last post (again, most of that was actually written in early January, but I couldn't get on very often during that time period). Anyway, MFGG Wrestling is running shows again, with me booking the matches! Check www.forums.mfgg.net/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=6232 if you're interesting in joining.
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If you've got any questions or comments, just e-mail me at
VHamilton002@gmail.com. Until next time... After a while, crocodile.
- Vinny
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