The social scene has never been my forte so to speak. I'm not what many considered "anti-social" but hell, I sure am not a social magnet. I'm not as shy or conceited as I used to be in, say 5th grade? High school and a little bit of the end of middle school really allowed myself to blossom into the person I want to be and the person I am today. Jackpot right? Well, heh....
I used to laugh of the thought of teenage relationships. I was like "what's the bloody point?!" Sure, I would generalize when I would say teenage relationships (like ages 16 and under) never worked out and the two parties involved were "going out" for the sake of "going out" and that really had me laugh. Well, it's high school and you can never turn a corner without some sort of couple making out and eating each other's faces. It's disgusting when you think about it and it's tempting to ruin the moment by maybe I dunno, standing beside the couple and start randomly rubbing your crotch. >.> Right so anyways, school has always been about relationships, whether serious or friendships. Always. Oh and academics. :o Going into high school is when you seriously think about dating and all that jazz and I was kind of the third wheel in middle school with my best buddies going out and such. Well that's when I starting think "will I ever have that?" See, I used to think teen romance was non-existent and totally obscure but then there are those days where I feel shitty and the "odd one out".
I constantly talk to my old friends from my hometown on a daily basis and they're also in HS. Most of my old friends I talk to over MSN are girls and an inevitable topic always comes up: Have a girlfriend yet? Somedays I think WHO THE *bleep* CARES??? and others No. /cut
You always hear what girls want in a man - funny, smart, kind and respectful. So when the said topic comes up, I always respond with a light "lol nope". Their response (always) would be "why? :P". Whenever that happens one question of my own pops up - "I don't know. How come I didn't have a girlfriend when I was still in Ottawa? *glares*" (btw I live in California and grew up in Ottawa, Canada) but never have the guts to ask in which I know it would get really awkward and silent. It's hard getting the truth without any kind of drawback.
Don't take this rant for a plea for attention. Just random "Musings/Thoughts".
Its just a question. You'll probably have to take a lot harder things in life at some point..over time I've learned to not care about the smaller things and find myself quite enjoying it.
I'm going through some similar stuff right now man. It's hard to read this because a lot of it rings so very true with me. Hope you're doing better with it now 2 years down the line, but if not at least you were able to get you're thoughts down on paper.
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