Tainted Report

Through some unfortunate events that I won't get into, I watched an episode of the Tyra show today.

Tyra's guest on the show was Paris Hilton, the twenty something who acts no older than eleven and has the personality of a grapefruit. While ordinarily I would take this time to rant about this new breed of hopelessly unintelligent divas, Tyra Banks' annoying habit of speaking out of turn aggravated me to no end.

Even though Paris was quick to plug herself wherever possible, it was expected because she was the guest on the talkshow. However, Tyra also took every possible opportunity to promote herself, cutting off Paris at times to tell her own story. While the entire idea of the Tyra show is incredibly convoluted, it was made even worse when Tyra butted in to tell the story of a boyfriend that cheated on her. Paris looked on in discomfort, finding it difficult to believe that anyone else could be more selfish than herself.

And when Tyra attempted to be modest, it was unbearably obvious that she was doing it to please the viewers. She looked directly into the camera when she spoke the words of scripted sympathy, losing the fire that she had when she told a personal story of her successes. It was embarrassing, to be honest. Why on Earth did she ever get a talkshow?

One of the most confusing parts of the episode was when a Tyra viewer got a makeover. This viewer was chosen to get a makeover because her husband was terminally ill with a brain tumor. Now, I understand that the woman is facing very difficult times, but is getting extensions really the best thing for her? I found this moment to be a worthless, trivial way to remedy the situation, when that money could have been spent in a better way. I feel that Oprah would have handled that situation much differently. "AND YOU GET A MALIGNANT TUMOR! AND YOU GET A MALIGNANT TUMOR! AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU! EVERYONE GETS A MALIGNANT TUMOR!"