Tainted Report

Nintendo managed to do one thing right this year in their E3 press conference: they gave Cammie Dunaway a smaller speaking role. However, other than their doing away with Dunaway (a little pun I thought up in the writing of this blog) Nintendo once again failed to deliver anything that satiates the unquenchable thirst inhabiting hardcore Wii owners.

Right off the bat Nintendo showed off their commitment to rehashing old ideas while calling them fresh. New Super Mario Bros Wii looks to be a horrible mashing of the Battle Mode from Super Mario Bros, and the casual portions of New Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS. In their on stage demo, Mario, Luigi, and two off-color Toads (no Red Toad love?) flopped around the level, showcasing the incredibly stupid game mechanic of picking up other players (which Bill Trinen saw as an entirely fresh idea) and the clunky pipe mechanics. What could have been an interesting concept was oversimplified into what will probably amount to the Link's Awakening: Four Swords Adventure of the Mario franchise.

Next they went into the next Wii Fit game, which I literally don't remember anything about. It really didn't matter what they said about the game, though, because everyone knows that Wii Fit Plus will sell millions of copies within a few hours of release.

They then showcased Wii Sports Resort, which looks even more gimmicky than it did at last year's press conference. A skydiving game as soon as you boot the game up? That's not going to appeal to hardcore gamers just because it is an extreme sport, Nintendo. And no matter how you look at the game, it will still be a casual title. Bill Trinen returned to the stage to talk about the game, and noted that because the archery game was easy to control, it was "all about skill" and therefore a hardcore game. It was at that point in the conference that I realized that Nintendo had completely forgotten what hardcore gaming was all about.

Then they ranted about the DSi being different than the DS Lite, which is a load of bull crap. They praised the idea of user-generated content, bringing out the two highlights of the show (at least in terms of first party support), Flip Note Studio and WarioWare DIY. Both titles show endless promise, although Nintendo will probably botch the latter. Mario vs. Donkey Kong also has a sequel with more customizable levels, but that series has never appealed to me anyway.

And in the most laughable segment of the press conference, Nintendo tried to say that the Wii had a good backlog of RPG games. They brought out Final Fantasy: The Crystal Bearers which looked horrible even from the trailer. Because they had run out of RPG titles for the Wii, they then hid behind the awesome third party support of the DS, with the announcement of Golden Sun DS and a look at the beautiful Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days. The announcement of a new Golden Sun game gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, Nintendo cared about the hardcore gamer.

And then they announced Super Mario Galaxy 2. Nintendo has always been extremely innovative in terms of keeping the mario series fresh. However, this sequel to the 2007 Wii title is a huge cop-out, especially when the first title in the series wasn't all that great. I may be a Yoshi fanboy, but simply adding Yoshi into the Galaxy universe won't make me want to buy the game again.

To try and tap into the hardcore market, they talked about three "hardcore" games on the Wii's horizon. The first was The Conduit, which I am very excited about, even though the trailer was lackluster at best. The next was Resident Evil Darkside Chronicles, and the final title was EA's Dead Space Extraction. Both of these titles are on-the-rails shooters, meaning you don't do anything but aim and shoot. That's so hardcore!

Nintendo closed the show with a brief glimpse into their collaboration with Team Ninja, the people behind the Ninja Gaiden series. The game is titled Metroid: Other M, and from the brief trailer we see that Samus Aran has somehow transformed into a ninja. She is leaping around the level, doing acrobatic cartwheels while grabbing dragons by the throat and snapping their necks. It was kind of cool, but it wasn't Metroid.

It was a year of sequels at the Nintendo press conference. New Super Mario Bros Wii, Wii Fit Plus, Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again, Mario and Luigi 3, Super Mario Galaxy 2. All of these games are nothing but a rehashing of old ideas. While some innovative ideas were coming out of third party development (namely The Conduit) Nintendo brought nothing new to the table outside of a DSware title.

It was as if Nintendo's press conference itself was a sequel. Nintendo once again praised itself for selling consoles. It once again praised itself for being innovative, where there was no innovation to be found. And, once again, Nintendo pandered to the casual market, leaving hardcore gamers asking themselves why they still believe in Nintendo.