Why Mr Skeleton, What Is With Your Strange Protrusion?
Maxim managed to settle the earthquakes caused by a tempermental catfish monster that was unhappy about being bored, so decided to cause some tremors in the hopes that someone from Sundletan would pop in for a spot of tea.. or something. Well, unfortunately he ran into Maxim who taught him a lesson. He made a promise to not cause anymore trouble and then settled back into the water. Good thing too, because I wonder if he is edible? Maybe Tia would have been able to use some LEMON to spice him up a little??
Speaking of the chef, she decided that all by herself she would follow Maxim into the Lake Cave... but oh no! They missed each other causing the hero to have to backtrack and try to find the woman. A scream upon entrance to a room dictates that she is very much alive, however being accousted by some sexually deprived monsters. Why do I say this? Well one Goblin is holding her whilst the Skeleton appears to be positioning it's blade into a phallic position. Too late. Maxim comes in to the rescue and the monster still has the sword pointed the same way. Maybe if the hero were to turn around and bend over it could still get it's pleasure...
No luck. They end up dead and Tia declares that she's FINE, running off into another Goblin who needs to be dealt with. Geez, why are women so weak in the classic era games? Take Princess Peach for example. She sends Mario through a quest to only receive a response from Toads that have an unrequited love for the plumber. "Sorry, but the princess is in ANOTHER castle." Wait? SAYWUTNOW?!
Anyway, Tia becomes an addition to the party which isn't really all that welcome until you take the time to build her up a little as she is kind of weak.
On the way to Alunze Kingdom the party end up in Foomy Woods where they meet a Foomy which looks like the residue of a few dozen marshmellows that have been roasted over a fire and then flicked into the neighbour's back yard. (Don't say that you've NEVER done this, because that would be a LIE!) The monster joins without a battle, and you get to have the pleasure of it tagging along and attacking with a trademark punch named after itself. How a stack of roasted marshmellows can form itself into a punch is beyond me though...
Que the arrival in Alunze Kingdom where a coronation ceremony is about to be held. And the public are allowed to view the crown. Here's a state that's really asking for trouble. It would be like saying "Residents of England, please come view the crown jewels which are out in the open. Hands off, now!"
...
Not THAT kind of jewels, people! That would be public indecency! HONESTLY!
So you guessed it, it gets stolen by some thieves that throw a bomb, but forget to light the thing first. It blows up in their faces and they are both thrown against the wall, however miraculously THEY SURVIVE! A little disorientated from the blast, they manage to gain their bearings and run off, WITH THE CROWN, WHILST THE NATIONAL GUARD STAND AND WATCH! Now, if I was the King I'd have them all beheaded (Or would that make me the Queen?)
Follow the thieves, named Berty and Bart (Charming names) to the basement where a guard is unconscious on the ground because... A BOMB BLEW UP IN THE THIEVES FACES, but shrapnel hit the man in the head and knocked him out. How perfectly normal humans can survive a blast at point blank range of a bomb, yet knock out a soldier from flying shrapnel beats me... but that's the way the story goes.
Following the trail of the thieves takes you into the castle basement where there are monsters because people have decided to not use the basement for a loooong time. But then, why are there decaying walls that you can bomb blast (I guess the plasterers did a bad job patching up the walls. Maybe this was the dungeons of punishment, torture, and kinky LOVE?) And why are bombs just lying around to pick up and place in front of the walls?? OH&S issues PEOPLE! Regardless... the enemies here are just plain tough if you decide to attack, attack, attack. So I'd advise making Tia useful with her magic and blast the sh!t out of the monsters. ;D
Also, for those interested, I have started a Classic Gamer's Society, a somewhat gentry club if you will, but women are permitted. ;D
If you join and participate, I shall love you long time. LONG TIME!
Classic Gamer's Society
...
LONG TIME!
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Gave a thumbs up Matt ^^