I can't sit here and fully express What you have and always will mean to me It's more than I could ever write or say It would take me an eternity. The way you loved me as a child, though we weren't of kin You taught me to love, and laugh, and taught me not to sin. You accepted me as your own from the beginning; no questions asked You took on the responsibilty of raising me It must've been such a difficult task... I grew older, and you did as well I never could understand how deep the love for me was that you felt. You tried to love my brother But he pushed you away He said he'd never love you He had his own father anyway. But you never stopped loving him, you still treated him like your son He slowly came to accept you and soon our family became one. _____________________ The years, they took their toll on you They made you so thin.. Father, you're so frail.. Why do you drink then? The liquor and beer became another life for you I saw you slowly die We pleaded so much for you to stop Why didn't you? Why? Father, I turned 15 today I saw you and mom fight She put me in the car and we drove away. We came back a few hours later And the image shall be burned in my memory I gasped as I looked over the dashboard And saw you hang yourself from the balcony. My mom shielded my eyes Your nephew pulled you up from there I still cant grasp why you did it.. hanging yourself in the air You managed to survive Because your nephew found you when he did You were barely alive But I was so happy that you lived. _____________________ Father I'm 17 now I miss you more than you know I know you miss me too, Ever since I moved in with Sergio. I barely get to see you And it really breaks my heart Mom left to another state Our little family drifted apart. But you still called me every day though sometimes i couldn't get your call I regret so much not picking up, Since I now can't hear you at all. You left me voicemails Asking how your 'babygirl' is doing today how you are so proud of me And you wouldn't have me any other way. You'd laugh at the end, tell me you love me and hang up I wish I would have answered If I knew how little until your time was up. ____________________ My cousin called me that day It was weird, since she never does She cried into the phone "Meily, your father is up above. He was at a job, in Jacksonville And drinking with his friend, Until he had a heart attack Bringing his life to an end" I didn't believe her, I thought she was playing a cruel joke Until I called my mom And she cried; my heart broke. I couldn't handle the pain That coursed through my body I cursed everything, even God Wondering why he had forsaken me. My mind went blank, my face; expressionless I went into a state of shock I felt nothing; emotionless. ____________________ Daddy..I'm 19 now I think of you religiously I find myself picking up the phone And calling you accidentally. I guess I haven't accepted it I wish you weren't gone I just want to hear your voice Singing that silly song I have no memento of you No picture, no letter I only have a few fragments, and even those make me feel better. You died too young 46 is barely even old I guess I never thought Being middle aged at 23 years old.