Matt Addison's blog

Don't even ask me why I used a Britney Spears reference for my first ever blog post (And it will probably be my last as I don't really have any desire to continue on this light fantastic...), but it happened so you're all going to have to live with it - avid reader or not.

What I am attempting to do, I guess, is correlate everything that's going on in my mind, into one easy readable piece that I will be able to come back and read over and perhaps attempt to comprehend as nothing seems too clear to me anymore. Despite that I have allowed time to pass and heal me somewhat, although only just, I still feel that I have not done enough to allow myself the time to get over what I once thought was the happiest time of my life.

I know that people here on Neoseeker don't particularly care so much - or that they'll take what I write and manipulate it into some form of media that would become entertaining if posted on 4Chan, and to you I just say - I don't care. I am me, and if people want to do that then you are only shaming yourselves. So, shame on you, in advance.

I don't even know what the censorship laws of the blogs are, and to what extent you can describe things, but I guess if I stick to the general code of conduct of Neoseeker, then I shouldn't be too far astray from the general rules and etiquette, and will be able to have my post evasively outmanouver anything that may even consider deleting it.

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So where I begin, I guess is that day in Woolworths (A convenience store, conveniently located in Australia to which you may buy your every day groceries). I was standing in the checkout line for the eight items or less, fast lane - which wasn't fast by all means, considering the lack of staff and the long line up, when from all of a sudden I feel a tap on my right shoulder. At this point I am blaring Katy Perry's Hot N' Cold in my ears and am really irritated that I'll have to take out my ear piece, turn around and find out who tapped me, and then reset the song so that I can appreciate it in it's completeness. I tug out the right piece and turn around, shuffling my heavy basket load of food in my arms to find a guy just standing there smiling at me. There's an akward pause and then what may have been a repetition of something previously said "Tim, right?"

"Uh no?" I reply maybe a little bluntly, blinking with a complete look of utter confusion on my face.

"Oh? Sorry, wrong guy." The guy responds. "I'm Ant, anyway."

He offers a free hand and I just look at it, nodding once in acknowledgement because obviously I do not have a free hand to offer and I still have Katy Perry telling me that someone needs to see a doctor for love bipolar in my ear.

"Some people just stand out as striking. I thought you were this guy, I am sorry if I mistook you for someone else."

He attempted to continue the conversation, to which I responded.

"That's okay" I even managed a weak smile. The beeps of the checkout counters in the background seemed to fill in the silences almost in the absence of crickets, although this didn't seem quite so akward.

"Well, considering that I inconvenienced you by making you take out your iPod, can I have your number so I can call you and apologise later?"

I thought this was a bit odd, and perhaps a little forward. However, I guessed that there wouldn't be too much harm in releasing my number to a complete stranger. Even though experience would say otherwise. I took a moment as I pursed my lips and considered my response, absently assessing his appearance with my hazel eyes.

He stood almost as tall as me, perhaps a little shorter with a wide face, and deep set hazel eyes. His hair was cropped brown and short and the individual strings were quite thick as opposed the the thinness of my own hair. Keeping it together was some form of what looked to be wax that made it look messy, yet natural. Despite having a wide face, his cheekbones were still quite prominent on either side of a wide, flat nose. Small lips hid gaped white teeth that were displayed whenever he spoke, or smiled. He was built medium to heavy, with a snug black sweater and dark blue jeans over his body that didn't appear fit, yet also was not unfit. It's hard to describe. His jaw was between being rounded and squared, and his chin was dimpled, which looked kind of cute. If you looked at the whole picture it looked as though when he was serious he looked like an adult, but when he smiled he looked like a little kid. It was difficult to determine his age, but I assumed that it would have to be similar to my own, if not within a few years.

Whilst it had seemed like an eternity that I reviewed him, it was only an instant, a mere second before I responded, "Sure."

I gave him my number and it was as though I was in a haze, because alarm bells were going off in my head telling me that I had made the worst decision of my life. But really, what could it hurt? What is life, without taking risks?

We shuffled a little further in the line, toward the checkout as staff became available to check through groceries to be purchased. He punched my number into his phone, and shot me a smile. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

Did he just wink at me? No, I must have been imagining it. I simply nodded again, semi-indifferent to what he said and then proceeded to an available operator to pay for the goods that I was going to use to purchase dinner. My head throbbed a little from a kind of headache that I had from a semi-hang over incurred from the previous night of drinking. Heck, I actually woke up drunk and had to go back to sleep to try and get it to go away (Thank God for ducted air conditioning in Summer!)

I placed the earpiece of my iPod back into my right ear and thought nothing more of it as I put Katy Perry's Hot N' Cold on from the top, and strode out of Woolworths, into the embrace of the cool air that heralded a storm that was on the way.

But I should have taken it as a sign, as it wasn't just a storm of rain, but also a storm and flurry of emotions over an extended period of time that would climax in a broken heart (cliched huh? But, this is MY story).

I'll stop this here, and if I see enough interest, I may continue later... but it's up to YOU! (Or if I get bored and decide to add more...)