The Dark Cavern

I figured I could start with Christmas, it does seem to be the topic of the month after all. Christmas for a lot of people is happiness. It's a time of giving, receiving and keeping a tally to make sure it's more of the first than the second.

Last year I found myself disappointed. I found that age has covered the Christmas spirit in a damp cloth, from which I'm receiving less and less until it dries up. Sure I still really get into Christmas. My house is covered in lights, the tree looks like a woman from a Port Kembla street and my room is done out with all the works.

All this still does not satisfy my hunger, as I find myself in a life which is slowly depreciating. The transition from childhood to adulthood is not one of merely physical change, as we as children always imagined. No doubt when you were younger you wanted to grow up to see an M15+ movie (though does that stop us sneaking in?) or getting to go on the big people's rides at a fun park. Then you get there, you suddenly realise there's a lot of mental and emotional baggage with it.

I no longer enjoy the celebrations I once did and then you suddenly gain a greater appreciation of what you never noticed before. As a child you never realise your parents more or less go without on Christmas, they buy each other a few small things and spend all their money on their children. This year my presents won't tally past five. I don't mind, they're things I want but it's not the same as when you're a kid and spend those first couple of hours ripping through the wrapping paper with twinkling eyes. The magic of Santa has long gone, now the idea of Christmas with the jolly fat man. When you're older you know all your presents, whether it's by choice or making the choice for them. There's no mystery and therefore no fun.

It's a similar thing with birthdays, I personally have always been quite saddened by them. My parents never have a party, it's a shock if they have a cake and a couple of presents. As a child they tried to make it the best time of my life. One year I remember my dad spent months constructing things from wood like swords and a boat to give me a pirate themed party. There was a treasure hunt, a walk-the-plank game and all sorts of little things that stimulate someone. The last two years I've not had a party, though this is deviating from the subject because the reason is no one came. My point is that what was organised was merely a small thing with some friends to a pizza place or bowling, it's not fun or imaginative like it used to be.

Or perhaps I muse too much? I know I still enjoy Easter, but can you really say chocolate has a depreciating value? A lot of people say that things like Christmas are ruined by commercialism, I believe they're ruined by age.

No doubt I will soon have another transition stage. I will begin going on parties to drink and not give a care to the world. I will settle down with my own family, give my kids the time of their life.

A little depressing? Sorry, but I'm like that a lot. Now what I plan to do with this blog you might enjoy a bit more. I feel that I'll use this now and then for just shooting blanks, to know that people are feeling what I am. At other times it'll hopefully have interesting thoughts such as views on feminism or backwards evolution.

Sadly today is a bad day, so I apologise for the somewhat gloomy outlook though if I've made just one person think then it is still entirely worth it. Yes the thoughts were of negative connotations, but perhaps they brought up one or more valid points for you.

Perhaps I should finish this first ever blog entry off with a little introduction. My name is Richard (please call me Richie) and I'm a 17 year old male. I live in New South Wales, Australia but my original birth place was a small town called Southampton in England. I plan to do journalism once I graduate and try out for University. Hopefully this is a viable option given my subjects. Speaking of which, my favourite subject is English. I'm currently taking Advanced English, Extension English and Extension English 2. In terms of journalism credentials I feel these are nicely complemented by Modern History, Economics and Business Studies. I am very much a music person, see me without my iPod around and you're probably in my shower because it's in as I speak... no I'm not in the shower right now thank you. I don't just listen but play, having a very beautiful $1200 guitar so I promise to take some proper pics some time. I'm self taught, having taken some lessons on and off. Perhaps I'll bore you with my hobbies some over time, I mean who wants to hear about a guy who likes to talk a walk along a beach at sunset right?

So this is my first ever entry, I'll try not to make all of them so long in the future but it's not something I can confidently promise. I hope this one hasn't but you off too much, it's more or less been a means of helping myself mentally. Anyway, I'd better get back to my Modern History assessment task so I can get into that journalism stuff later on so catch you next time.