I'm punching aliens in the face. I'm drawing penises on a whiteboard. I'm taking a slash. I'm playing billiards. I'm taking the secret throne elevator down to the Duke Cave where a personal call from the President is awaiting me. I'm single-handedly destroying an alien mothership all the while avoiding an air assault. I'm getting a blowjob from twins while I'm self-aware I'm in a game that took 14 years to develop as I play that same game on the television in front of me.
Within the course of the introduction and the first stage, I'm already in love with Duke Nukem Forever.
When the first major footage leaked amidst the demise of 3D Realms, long since we'd seen anything of the title, I was in awe: I thought the animations looked as beautiful as the graphics did, while the gameplay looked like unbelievable fun. Fun. Not intense, heart-tugging crusades through war-torn Madeupistan but the p
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