I Am The Walrus

Hands up who said JLS?

You know, the popular boy band from ITV's X Factor competition.

Well here's me and a few friends with Marvin Humes, the only one sporting enough to get a picture taken. I'm the one between the two girls, not my chubby friend on the left who looks like all his dreams have come true.
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Some specky prick (excuse the language, thinking about it all again has made me somewhat angry) really got on my tits the other night. Picture the scene, we're in the bar competiting in a Pub Quiz, and during the intervals we go over to one of those little quiz machine things. Putting £1 in now and again to play Deal or No Deal.

Noel Edmonds is throwing up all figures of impossible reachability (not a word I'm sure) such as 56000, 52000, 63000 etc. He's got a smirk on his face too. The same one each time, but it always felt as if they were getting...I dunno, 'smirkier' (I'm the new Shakespeare) after each round. So we called it quits and started playing other exciting trivial games, such as Buckaroo.

The next break we get we walk over and the machine is taken. Fine by me, I enjoy a good wait. But as I'm watching him, I notice his eyes are drawn to our good friend Deal or No Deal. Now, be
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There we have it. Another sign of the growing recession our country (and the World) is under. My best friend is...on the dole. An umemployed cesspit of tracksuits and swearing, I tagged along with him a couple of days ago to collect his paltry £18 a week. I did not prepare myself for what I would see.

Job centres, in my mind, have always been places to look up a new job and get given great advice from qualified professionals. That's before I entered one of course. There was clearly no effort in trying to find my educated buddy an occupation; listing two positions of fashion retail in our local town and telling him to keep looking.

I tried to go into the room with him. No luck. As soon as I started following him in, three security guards were on my tail telling me to leave unless I had an appointment. I took a look outside the automatic doors and saw about 10 neds and 4 rottweilers. I p

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